It hasn't hit me yet

So, I am officially retired. Unofficially, I will continue working for a few years more. To have some fun. To continue earning money. To continue learning. 

I will quit quickly if I stop having fun. Promise to myself. There is too much to explore to waste on work that does not bring joy and satisfaction. Let's see how life develops. Long and slow is my deepest desire. 

Staying connected to friends and family. Helping others through coaching. As long as the work stays interesting, it means that the person taking the coaching is truly able to do the work. At the moment, those who I am coaching are either doing career coaching or financial literacy coaching. Topics that are dear to my heart. 

My greatest desire I have though is to explore and become an artist not only through action but as a fact. This is the scary part. This is also fire, earth, water and air unleashed.

Photo by Tom Podmore on Unsplash

(This post is part of my "Growing Up & Growing Old" project.)

Commitment towards Change

Do you remember when the whole notion of change from bottom-up and not top-down began to resonate in the public and individual consciousness? When did it happen for you?

When Egyptians rose up and claimed change of regime?
When Mr. Obama became president and asked us to help make change?
The ending of apartheid in South Africa?
The fall of the Berlin Wall?

Or was it something less historically significant? Whenever or whatever it was that gave you serious pause for thought, wasn't it exciting to think of the enormous possibilities we all have to participate in creative and constructive change?

Where are you today? Does the fire still burn inside?

Video from KarmaTube

There are so people working with spirit to create long term change. I recently discovered the KarmaTube. Try browsing through the different videos and choosing one or two as a picker upper... it is bound to make you smile. 

Today, life is good. It is easy for me to believe in the power of small victories and quiet diligence bringing about the changes we need We just need to keep putting one foot forward...

A living worth scraping

“If I can only scrape a living, at least it will be a living worth scraping.” Mickey Smith

A while ago, I posted this video of Mickey Smith called, Dark Side of the Lens. The photography, music, and text are all done by this extraordinary man, who obviously/obsessively loves the wilds of nature.


Dark Side of the Lens from Astray Films on Vimeo

Today I stumbled upon his talk at Do Lectures. The Dark Side of the Lens is also presented during his talk. It is interesting to hear him tell of his childhood on the Cornish coast. Hearing how these experiences and the inquiring of his sister made him do the film, somehow makes the film even more brilliant than before.



He mentions at one point in his presentation how he lived one year by the flip of the coin. It was a strange year with a lot of adventures.

Even though I don't think I would ever be crazy/reckless/spontaneous enough to live like this, it really would be fun to do so on the occasion. What do you think, would you give it ago?

I am putting it on my to-do list of this year.

Do Lectures is a fine site to while away your time on. If you do so and find a presentation that is especially inspiring, please tell me.

Zero Inbox

Years ago, I watched this video of Merlin Martin explaining his method of Zero Inbox. I was intrigued with the idea of making instant, quick, possibly radical, decisions daily about how to handle the constant flow of information arriving in my inbox. So, for a while, I followed his methods (more or less).

Then like most practices stemming from good intentions, I digressed and even regressed into bad behaviour. Things went from bad to worse, when I tried embracing a new idea, "only touch once". This idea states you should only handle a piece of information once. Read, think, respond, act. No previewing. No hesitation.

If you get an email or phone message on your voice mail and you know that you are not in the position to act upon the information given, don't open it. Do so when you can complete the task. If you only partially read an email and have to go back later to look at it, you are wasting time that first glance (previewing).

"Touch on once" does make sense on many levels. Yet, it also means that I amassed nearly 100 unread emails in the last six months.

Today was my day allocated to reading my nearly 100 "unread mails" and zeroing my inbox. Mission Accomplished!

The Art of Living Life Barefoot

There are two types of sailors. Ones that see the deck is wet and carpeted with sharp objects and wear the appropriate footwear. And those who slow down and get the feel of the danger by being barefoot. I was raised in a sailing tradition of the later.

If we put shoes or boots on while on-board, it took away a vital means of sensory perception. Instead of letting our feet help us “see” our way across the deck, we would blindly bump our way around.

The reason I am babbling on about this is because I spent a good part of the night (sleeping badly at the moment) thinking about the art of living one’s life barefoot. How there are whole groups of people or cultures that go through life so.

My early childhood in Venezuela and Grenada was completely barefoot. In my later childhood we were always so at home. We even tottered down the frozen driveway in deepest winter barefoot to dig the newspaper out of the snow bank without shoes. And there were the blissful summers where our feet never touched anything but stone, sand, grass, and hot pavement of the roads coming home late in the day.

Then nearly thirty years ago, I moved to Germany. A culture that doesn’t embrace bare feet. I’m sure you’ve seen the German tourists that wear sandals with socks. This just shows how clearly they don’t get the concept of going barefoot.

Ok, in the privacy of their homes, or while sitting in their gardens… yes, you can get a glimpse of folks here wiggling their toes. But that is about it.

I’m not saying this is wrong. It is just other. Not bad other or good other… just other.

Living here so long has changed me in many ways, but in no way as much as in this matter. I see American tourists walking through airports wearing flipflops, and shrink into myself. All those bared toes… in public… how inappropriate. I look at teenagers wearing bare feet in the cities during a hot summer day and think, spittle, grime, and dog poo.

Oh no, I’ve sold out! How could that happen? Could it be possible to retrieve that feeling a naked innocence of times past?

Would I have to take off my soft and warm slippers this cold rainy morning to do so?

Life's Wisdom

Link from my son today. Thought it would be good to share with you. Don't know about you, but Tetris is one of those games I played forever.

Slam Dunk

Our family has a contest going on along the lines "What was mom thinking?" Mothers (and fathers) are meant to help raise their children to be strong and healthy. To do this, they need to feed their children a balanced diet. So, our contest is to establish acts of gross wrong-doing in meeting children's nutritional needs.

My brother once witnessed an act of pure genius... in some small Scottish diner, a mother served her children French Fry sandwiches for breakfast! French Fries between two slices of toasted white bread. (OK, there were doses of ketchup in between as well.)

So, my brother has held the record for the best bad meal for the last 23 years! Oh, we've tried, but no matter what we've seen, the Scottish French Fry Breakfast Sandwich has always come out on top. Until today...

I saw my prize at a school sport event. The parents had set up a breakfast buffet for the school children.  Right in the middle of the buffet table, on a big aluminum platter, was a mountain of soft white bread rolls with squished chocolate-covered marshmallow cookies in between. Here is the recipe,

1. Take one white bread roll
2. Slice through the middle
3. Take one chocolate-covered marshmallow cookies
4. Squish flat
5. Place between bread roll

I am not joking. Appalled, I talked to one of my friends about it. "Oh, I used to sneak to the local store and buy one of those on the way to school when I was a kid." This creation is not the invention of a crazy mother, it's actually tradition here!

Now, I am all for French fries and sweets, but for breakfast... Anyways, this creation is a slam dunk for upsurging my brother's prize, so I can't complain.

What is the worse you every saw a parent giving their children to eat?

Somewhere in the corner of my cupboard

In the corner of my cupboard, underneath a pile of clothes I no longer fit in, is a t-shirt from my dad. There is a photo image of an “Old Fart” (him) parachuting. He’s wearing a helmet of sorts. His face is squeeze up almost beyond recognition. His arms are extended outwards. He’s in the middle of a free fall. There is this wonderful goofy expression on his face.

The story behind this t-shirt is the following…

On the occasion of my father’s 70^th birthday, he spontaneously decided to gift himself a trip to Australia. A friend of his had sailed his boat from Canada to Chile, and then over to the Great Barrier Reef in Australia. My father, apparently on a whim, decided to visit his friend and spend some time with him on his boat.

He took a bus journey through the outback of Australia: Sydney to a harbour where his chum’s boat was anchoured in the Great Barrier Reef. While making the journey, he noticed a sign in some town offering tandem parachuting adventures. Pay up front. Climb onto the plane. Make a jump.

Years before, he’d mentioned he had only two regrets; not having parachuted and not having gone paragliding. So, during that bus stop in the middle of Australia, he thought, “What the heck.” He walked up to the airfield and asked to be on their next jump.

He went up and parachuted, but he was so overwhelmed by the experience, his mind blanked. Therefore, he went up a second time. Just so he could remember the experience. It was on the second jump, the photo was taken.

He got the t-shirts printed up for his family as a way of announcing the event. We had no idea. I’m not sure any one of us would have given his our blessing if he had decided to ask us if we thought parachuting for the first time at 70 years old was a good thing.

Now, many years later, I toast you, Dave, for your craziness. Thank heavens you took the jump. Thank heavens you showed us that life is meant to take risks.

Wonderful Day

DARK SIDE OF THE LENS from Astray Films on Vimeo.


Stupendous! In support of Mickey Smith's mastery, please watch, enjoy, and spread his work onwards into the world. For as he explains,

"It's an art form in itself. (We are) Silent work horses of the surfing world... Most folk don't even know who we are, what we do, or how we even do it, let alone want to pay us for it."

It Gets Better, Social Media with Ice Cream on Top

Sometimes social media and the people on the forefront do something that is just fantastic. "It Gets Better" campaign is one such case. All the hot shots are doing it...



Even the geeks are on the bandwagon...



In my university days, studying electrical engineering, any gay engineering student had to hide his gayness. Not because they feared being ostracized, but physically beaten. "Gay bashing" was a weekend pastime of some of the more seriously homophobic tech students. Just love this Google employee's video contribution to the campaign.

But, my real hero when it comes to stirring up the dust is Rick Mercer. Please look at the following two videos. Don't you just love a good rant?



And, lastly, Rick Mercer and a group of famous Canadian media people and artists.



To all you out there to whom this message is directed to... find someone today to help you, and don't wait until tomorrow.

Extraordinarily Confusing

Making this collage took quite a while, but it was a delightful process of layering and cutting and changing textures. It was an effortless process. Something that doesn't happen too often.

An artist friend of mine, who also works as an interior designer for large public buildings has asked if I'd sell my collages to put in two new hospital projects. She says my collages have soul, which made my heart go all golden and my checks rosy. 

These last months of setting up my freelance business have been extraordinarily busy, but also invigorating. The strain has been noticeable on my brain: my memory for names and words, never good, is noticeably worse. I am doing my best now to set up a foolproof system for remembering people’s names. 

I had one head of department, who would write down the name and one piece of information about his employees in a little black book. Everyone laughed at this method because he would always refer to that specific piece of information no matter how often you met him. I was the Canadian being asked if I felt at home living in Germany. Another colleague, who liked to sail, was asked if he had bought a boat yet.

I’m looking for methods people use to remember names, or where the keys are… do you have any suggestions? 

2011- taking something good and improving upon it

Time for New Year's resolutions. In the past, I have taken a year to contemplate a word or study upon a topic I wished to know more about. This year, I am at a bit of a loss about what I should do. Then I received a delightful long letter from a dear and wise friend.

In her letter she talked about the possibility of New Year's reslolution being a journey of,

"finding "kalapurna," a word that means a sense of the rich fullness of the present moment that contains all the history that has brought us to this moment and the potential of the future, about resting in the past while also turning toward the future, knowing that you are full and complete and have everything you need to reach your own potential."

Now I can't say that I really understand physically or intellectually what kalapurna is, but the concept made me realise two things. First, I have never made a New Year's resolution to do something that I do well and just choose to do it better. Secondly, nor have I ever chosen a word for the year that is already an integral part of my day-to-day life and just embrace it more deeply.

Granted there have been and probably there always will be so many aspects of my being that need improvement. Can't get around that. Still, why is it necessary to start with some aspect that we fail so miserably at all the time. Wouldn't it be smarter to chose something we do right most of the time and then try to improve upon it?

I am enough.

"Brene Brown studies human connection -- our ability to empathize, belong, love."

Brene Brown also does a marvelous job of arguing why we should all strive to be vulnerable instead of predictable, courageous more than brave, and kind to ourselves as well as to others. What I most enjoy about her TED Talk is the passion of her convictions is not highlighted through stories of grand deeds, but more subtly through her self-deprecating antidotes of her struggles and stumbling along the way to realising the most important thought, "I am enough."

At this time of reflection upon the challenges we have met this last year and perhaps recognition of opportunities we can stumble after in the next, watching this video places a milestone along the road of our journey forward. 

Chilled Out

We had the great pleasure of visiting the Natural Historical Museum in Karlsruhe the other day. The Vivium (fish and reptiles) section kept us fascinated and smiling with wonder for over an hour. I do not have the ablility to describe in detail how beautiful and quirky nature is when it comes to their design of sea creatures. The diverstiy of colours, shapes, and sizes is beyond comprehension.

I've never seen such remarkably coreographed aquariums and terrariums.They were the sort of sea landscapes that VanGogh would have painted if he knew of them.

While most of the fish seemed very occupied and busily doing what fish do, the reptiles were childed out. I stood and starred back at a iguana for over two minutes before it deemed necessary to blink. A lesson in Zen. 

A Sunset of the City

The hot dry summer days loll on. I’m still seeking employment. Though I should say, I do have meaningful employment; lots of projects being juggled both here and in Kimilili, Kenya. Now I just need employment with a salary.



Listening to poetry these days. Find it soothes my restless soul. Today’s find was Gwendolyn Brooks’s, A Sunset of the City. Please go to this link and her speak the poem. I love how she describes growing older,

“It is summer-gone that I see, it is summer-gone.
The sweet flowers in drying and dying down,
The grasses forgetting their blaze and consenting to brown.”

There are moments now when I feel such, but I try and let them flow away with the summer breeze.

Pace of Life

Something to consider. If the pace of life differs between countries, cultures, and religions, do you think it differs throughout your life various phases?

"Past-oriented vs. present or future-oriented personalities differ across many landscapes, and factors like religion, geography and culture greatly influence how individuals experience time."



linked from Neatorama

Everyday Heroes V

Everyday heroes we encounter are important influences on our lives. They have the ability to alter our thinking and, often, even the direction of our decision-making. This post is part of a series I am writing about the heroes I have met.



Name: Ruth
Profession: corporate law
Marital Status: married
Children: a daughter
Place of Origin: Cameroon

How we met:

Ruth came to live in Germany with her young daughter a year and a half ago. She came in the dead of winter. Ruth knew how to speak German and she had conscientiously studied all the facts and figures of this new country she was marrying into. What she couldn’t learn in the warm and wonderful climate of Douala, was what winter cold feels like. How deep damp winter weather can hurt you teeth and bones.

How the winter darkness can sap all the residues of sunny joy stored from childhood memories from the marrow of those bones.

How impenetrable are the blank facades in the faces of her German neighbours.

How confusing is the bureaucratic machinery that every citizen and resident must comply to.

Yet, Ruth proves to have more resilience and resourcefulness and quiet charm than all those dour beings and circumstances that are scattering stones in her way. She has forged loving relationships with her new extended family. She has become mightily efficient at navigating herself around the labyrinth called German bureaucracy. She’s helped her daughter find a place in her new neighbourhood. She has become a wise and kind friend.

What she has shown me:

She has shown an ability to move with assurance in a strange culture. She has show me that even if you are confused and at times desperate, you can’t stop moving in the general direction you see as forward. Whether it is forward or not, is almost irrelevant, just take purposeful steps as best you can.

Elder as an Expert

This large poster now hangs on a building across the way from where we live. It is an advertising campaign to encourage cross-generational relationships.

The slogan is in the form of a short newspaper partnership ad:

Expert on love relationships seeks someone to do chores.

My translation does not really do justice to the beauty of the slogan. The slogan communicates well how building social interaction between elders and younger people can be a mutually profitable relationship.

Their site (in German) is explained as such,

"Elders are experts about life/living. They have experienced much and have survived much. In this Caritis blog, 52 authours write about various sides of life as an elder."

A Graph is Worth a Thousand Words

My son sent me this graph (large format). If correct, the graph does put a lot of perspective on how effectively the present US administration is at rectifying matters; having been dealt a bad hand to start.

Life is a roller coaster ride these last weeks. There have been many highs: watching my daughter play her first sax solo, reading the first three exciting chapters of a dear friends book, seeing my son prepare madly for his final exams (Abitur), sharing some wonderful times with friends from "down south", slip-sliding-away on the icy streets of Luebeck. The troughs are best passed over. These are exceedingly busy times. I'm endeavouring, not always successfully, to raise my hands in the air and shriek with amazement rather than crouch down and hold on the the ridges with by the tips of my fearful fingertips.

Take a Moment

Take a moment and watch Michael Pollan's presentation about non-sustainable and sustainable food systems. Not only is the information he presents very interesting, the presentation itself is a masterpiece.

On a personal note, I unfortunately and stupidly erased all the documents on my computer a week ago and have been struggling unsuccessfully to retrieve the files. As you can imagine, the effort needed to try and retrieve the data has been extensive. I have not been commenting, nor writing on my blog as a result, though I have been reading and appreciating your blog posts.