Telling Stories with Feeling

Recently, a good friend and I had a conversation about my blog. She mentioned how she loves coming to the Yum Yum Café to get caught up with the going-ons of my life. Further into our discussion, she talked about her occasional surprise and perplexity at the content of some of my posts. She wondered how I could write and publish such personal texts.

This brought me back to the dilemma I wrestled over nearly four years ago, when I started this blog; what is the difference between being engaged and personal and being too intimate and forthcoming? Admittedly, there are guidelines to follow and boarders that shouldn’t be overstepped when publishing a document. It doesn’t matter whether it is a newspaper article, a book, or something as inconsequential as a blog post. At the very least, the respect of privacy, both of others and our own, is one of the borders we should walk carefully. Therefore, the critical observation from my friend made me reflect upon how my guidelines and borders have changed over time.

It made me question whether I write about things now, which I wouldn’t have written way back then, or whether I divulge details of my day-to-day existence that would be best kept private. And, the answer is that I probably do from time-to-time. It is not always easy to walk the tightrope between remaining respectful of the people’s privacy portrayed in my stories, and writing about topics close to my heart and relevant to my life.

When I write a blog post that might be questionable, I ask myself the following two questions:

Will my children find what I write embarrassing?*
If the content was instead part of a café conversation I was having with a friend, and someone at the neighbouring table overheard it, would I be mortified?

If the answer to both questions is no, then, I’ll probably post the text. For, the raison d'être for this blog, is that my children have a journal of these years in future times. Secondly, even though this blog is public, it is read by only a few. Its readers are people I more or less know. I might not have met all of you face-to-face, but I do know you to be loyal readers and I hope this is because I don’t all too often cross that border into the extreme.

What I have learnt in the last years is that without the personal details and the emotional connection, there are no stories to tell.


* Both my children read this blog and have veto rights on anything I post.

Solitary Days on the Baltic Sea Coast

A few days escape to rethink, retank, and rejuvenate.

Boats in the Night

Miserable “Scheet” weather.
A sailor sits at the bar,
Brooding darkly, drinking beer.
He stares blankly ahead.
Malcontent. Dreaming of the
Warm salt breeze of the Caribbean Sea.

The bartender looks up at the
Crawling clock. She steels another
Glance at the last and only customer.
The slight flush to her skin stays hidden
In the darkness of the bar.
She shakes her head. Reprimanding herself.
"Stay away. Trouble there. You know it's so."
Still, she can’t help dreaming about the sailor,
While she wipes down the counter,
Waiting for her shift to end.

P(T)eaching to the Choir

Another good video trying to convince all educators and those of us involved in some manner with the education system the necessity to implement new technology-supported learning methods...

Best qoute, "This isn't the Information Age, it is the Learning Age. The quicker people get their heads around that, the better."

Sage Advice

Spent this rainy afternoon listening to poetry. Being in a melancholy state of mind, I tended towards poems of adieu (here, here, and here). Which got me thinking about the life stories of various women friends of mine. Even though I believe in the power of literature and poetry to bring comfort into my life, I remember more clearly those words spoken in the company of friends. Here is the advice three of my elder friends told me about saying adieu:

When Jean realised she was growing old, she began volunteering at the local hospice. She thought a closer proximity to death and dying would help her to become familiarized with all of its various facets. After a few years, she told me, “We don’t have any choice about what we die from, nor do we really have any say about how long it will take or how much pain we will suffer. The only thing I know for certain is all of our personal attributes, whether those of strength or weakness, will accompany us right to the end. So, we shouldn’t waste any time; grasp every trail in our lives as an opportunity to exercise fearlessness and wonder.”

Kirsten spent her whole adult life with chronic back pain after an accident in her early twenties. As she was nearing her ninetieth birthday she said, “Each morning when I wake, I thank the gods for this blessing of another day. There is pain and there is suffering. There are also many pitiful indignities. But, most of all, there is this marvellous never-ceasing will to live, which is a constant companion along the way.”

Agi is a wise woman, a reflective contemplative being. She decided to study phycology when she turned 60, at the onset of her husband’s Alzheimer. She completed her studies when she was 65 and continued to care for her husband in their home until he died years later. Now she is acting as a consultant for other elders in similar situation to hers. One of the many wise pieces of advice she gave me was, “People who say they have no fear of dying, usually are not telling the truth. For the fear of dying is just the shadow side of our will to live. As we yearn deeply to live, we also fear to die. It’s as simple as that.”

I don’t know whether these words taken out of the context of our conversations might diminish their beauty. I hope not.

Technology helps people think in a different way

I always was sceptical of the "no child left behind" program and its focus on standardised learning. I wonder whether it wouldn't be more appropriate to start a "no teacher left behind" program that focuses less on information transfer and more on differentiating collaborative explorative learning methods. Or, just assure that teachers know about the "practice what you preach" policy of pedagogy.

My children have come home from school over the last while with numerous horror stories. Stories about the antiquity of their teachers’ teaching methods and their bomb resistant mental attitudes when it comes to technology.

This video shows that all they really have to do is stop talking and start listening.

Finding Your Truth: Living a Soulful Life

Definitely inspirational. Take a look. It is worth it. He speaks well about how soul is very much an expression of truth.

Short Story II

INSOMNIA =
3 am move onto living room sofa +
reading sedentary literature +
dozing off and on +
vaguely registering the existence of drunken pedestrians shouting and singing outside living room window -
blissful dreams -
peace of mind

Speaking of Faith Interview

Well, the interview I gave to the Speaking of Faith, Repossessing Virtue series is out. My heavens, was I nervous to know if I made any sense at all. I did make one huge mistake when I said there was 250 people living in Luebeck, instead of 250 thousand. Oh well, live and learn.

If you would like to listen to the interview, please do, but only if you tell me honestly what you think. My daughter said she only understood half of what I was saying. So, it's one of those half full, half empty situations. Should I celebrate or despair?

There is also a collective podcast of eight persons who contributed to the series. I am one of the persons. If you want to listen to this podcast, please do.

Short Story I

MYSTERY =

food our exchange student likes +

all my efforts to find out

Another TED Talk

I know, not another! But, like so many of the TED Talks pertinent, passionate, and provocative. Seth Godin is certainly one of my heroes, and I think he shines throughout this presentation.



If you are looking at a very good list of TED Talks favourites, please take a look at this list from Garr Reynold.

Just By Starting You Are Halfway There

All of the talk in the last weeks about how the Obama administration has been doing, has been focused on "what have they done" and not allowed for a more broader sweep. This video might be interesting to those of you who want to know how some municipal governments are globally tackling some of the problems due to urbanization.

This might also be good time for all of us to take a look at how we are doing and what we are doing to make the changes we so demonstratively spoke about not four months ago. What are you doing now that you were not doing at the end of last year? How have things changed for you or your community? How are you creating positive and constructive change? I would be really interested to know.

High Brow, Low Life

I was just about to write a post about a new video I saw in Lawerence Lessig's blog. Even though the talk is rather lengthy, it is well worth making a cup of tea and watching it from start to finish. It is a talk he gave at Warner Music. Then my son sent me this blog post that made any observation I could make superfluous. I tend to agree with Mr. Lessig in all points, which does not indicate he is right in all matters, but rather, it means that I am not qualified to make any intelligent counterpoint. I didn't agree with Radio Clash, but admire the fact he argued his points well.

Instead of embedding the Lessig's presentation mentioned above, here is something you might like... Can't explain it, but I am so annoyed with the whole Twitter hype of the last months, it really caught my fancy.

Watch Real Life Twitter and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

Putting On My Dancing Shoes

Last night, a late spring evening walk turned into an occasion for me to wander down memory lane. Back to a spring trip to Ulm (southern-ish Germany) to visit N. and her ballet company friends. Back to a time when we’d all go out dancing after they finished their nightly ballet performance.

We’d dance through the nights in a crowded, loud, smoky, sultry, sweaty disco. What was the name of the place? What was the name of the bartender we became friendly with? I don’t remember anything other than the vibrant, wild abandoned pleasure I experienced: music and movement to free my spirits and make my feet sore.



It was a time when copious amounts of drugs and alcohol were consumed, but I didn’t need either to lose myself in the music and dance. We’d literally walk into the disco and onto the dance floor and did not stop dancing until we decided to leave for home.



We’d wander through the streets on our way from the Stadttheater to the disco just as the last evening light was fading. Hours later, tired, but with a lightness of being, we’d make our way home from the disco just as the early morning light was appearing.



We’d pass the local bakery and smell the bread baking in the ovens behind closed window shutters. We were jubilant to be the only ones walking along the streets. Walking home barefoot, one hand holding our shoes, and the other some flowers we’d picked from the gardens of the homes we passed.

Need Your Opinion

Once again, I need your help. I made up this presentation today and I need your suggestions and opinions on it. A colleague and I are holding a workshop on Thursday for a group of teachers about Web 2.0 presentation tools. I happen to know that many of you are teachers, were teachers, or we involved in education... so, please give it a look.

Creating Presentation

View more presentations from lilalia.

We are going to keep the theoretical part down to a minimum (30 minutes) because we do not have much time (4 hours). Ideally, I'd like for the participants to work for 3 of the 4 hours, and for the instructors to present for 30 minutes, and leave 30 minutes for feedback.

Sunny Sunday

Decided to redo the angel collage without the candles. Just wanted to wish you all a sunny Sunday and a good start to your week tomorrow.

Nomad Son is due to return from his trip to Tobago. One of my favourite siter-in-laws (I have nine of them)is driving down with her family for a visit any time now.

Don’t quite know what to think

Recently, an ex German girl band pop star was charged with “attempted grievous bodily harm” for having unprotected sex with three men between 2004 and 2006 without mentioning to them that she was HIV positive.

I really didn’t know what to think about the whole situation. First, I didn’t realise you could be charged for doing so (sentence up to 10 years possible). Intellectually, it does seem like a viable conclusion for putting someone’s life at risk. But, the Big-Brother-is-watching-you side of me finds the whole situation disconcerting.



(Sorry, couldn't find this video in English. If any of you can help me here with the link, I'd be very appreciative.)

Then there is the part of me who finds the whole fact ludicrous that a woman should be accused of having unprotected sex with a man, as if it isn’t his job to see that he uses a condom.

What do you think? Read an article about it here.

Easter Midnight Concert

We enter the dark cathedral. A glow of subtle moonlight offers us a suggestion of light to guide us through the darkness to the slowly filling pews. Faint mummers catch the corners and wander fluidly along the floor. Hundreds of people sit quietly. In prayer. In expectation.

One candle lights the darkness accompanied by rarefied voices of Gregorian chant. Darkness. Twilight. Midnight. Dawn. Winter Deprivation. Hope. Heresy. Faith. Science. Senses. Sensations. All aspects of the momentous transformation from darkness to light studied though words, voice, song, sounds: and graciously carried by ten thousand glorious candles into the Easter morn.

People + Purpose + Technology = Community

Online and On the Ground Community Work

View more presentations from lilalia.

At the risk of being accused of whipping a dead horse, I'm posting another post about the community work I'm involved in. If anyone sees any mistakes or wishes to suggest any improvements in the presentation, please feel free to comment. All improvements are welcome.

If anyone is looking for a story to smile over, please go to this blog entry and read about how Fadhili and the children of the Community Breakthrough Support Mission in Kimilili, Kenya reacted to receiving their first real football. I laughed until I cried reading Rev. Wasike's rendition.

The sun is shinning. We have a four-day weekend. What a blessed day this is to go out and enjoy the simple things in life.

Repossessing Virtue (5/5)

What sort of wisdom or leadership are you looking for at this time of your life?

I think that I am looking for wisdom and leadership in those around me, rather than those who hold important offices or have important jobs. Maybe this stems out of a certain cynicism or lack of trust, but maybe part of it comes from the fact that I know or have known many wise and kind and generous people.

And so, there are remembered conversations with my father who died years ago, but whose ideas and opinions on matters still influence how I look at current situations. Or, there are the day-to-day conversations with my husband, a few dear friends, my mother-in-law, Rev. Wasike in Kenya… they are my leaders. Not because they are rich or successful or could be considered perfect in any standard way. But, they are perfect to me for they teach me what I need to know.

For instance, there is the example of my mother-in-law who bore and raised nine children almost single-handedly while working on a production line job. She came from Italy to live in Germany as a Gastarbeiter in the early 60s. She retired officially nine years ago, at the age of 60, but she has not stopped working because she cannot live well on her pension.

I tried to convince her that she should allow each of her nine children to pay her a small sum of money every month and then she wouldn’t have to work any more. She didn’t want this. She prefers to live independently of their giving. After running up against this wall of her self-imposed independence, I finally asked her what she would accept. She answered that she would like us to help her find a smaller apartment near our place. Not only did she wish to reduce the amount of rent she paid, she was living in a high rise apartment in the suburbs, where she feared going out after dark because she didn’t know who she would meet in the parking lot. She wanted to move into town where she could move around freely.

Fortunately, the apartment across the hall from us became available, and so she moved into the studio apartment about a year and a half ago. Her life changed positively. The place is really small, 37 square meters or less than 400 square feet, but it is a stone’s throw away from the local bakery or doctor’s office. I swear she walks with a lighter gait, and is happier now than she was before.

She’s still working, but says she’ll stop this year. We’ll see.

Repossessing Virtue (4/5)

And what are you doing now that is different?

I’m choosing the people I seek information or advice from more carefully than I once did. I am learning as much as I can about why we are in the mess we are, but I don’t feel as if I know enough yet to make proper decisions about what to do or change.

Concretely, we choose carefully where to shop and who to give our business to. There is a long tradition, in most German towns, of small stores and businesses. You can go and buy nearly anything you need directly from the owners of the shops. I have the feeling that I am helping keeping their business open. I also try to be conscious of mentioning how wonderful it is that there are such shops or businesses to people I know. Some say that the most effective form of advertising is word-of-mouth.

It’s odd, but I used to find a lot of comfort and inspiration in reading contemplative or religious texts. And even though I still find comfort doing that, I’m now more interested in learning about people* who are doing great things using technology in smart ways. It is through them that I leaned about concepts such as social networking, creative commons licensing, crowdsourcing, extreme-scale collaboration, tribes, and massive cognitive surpluses, public distributed computing. The language they use might be different than that which we are accustomed to, but the intrinsic principles behind their ideas are very sound and based on the traditional values I was raised with.

So much of my own ideas and actions have changed by reading what they write and watching what they accomplish. For, instance, the creative commons movement slowly came into being about 10 years ago at a time when it was almost impossible for a normal person to obtain use of photo material online. Now there are over 100 million photos on Flickr alone that anyone can use for free, within certain restrictions. A hundred of my own collages are part of that 100 million. Equally, I made my first micro-financing loan to a shop owner in the Ukraine in 2006, and now I’m helping some women in Kenya, Rwanda, Uganda, and Cameroon set up their own businesses.

I’m involved in co-ordinating various projects in different countries, which I do on a volunteer basis. These projects concern the health, education and care of orphans and vulnerable children. We are building new schools, setting up women co-op businesses, organising new sources of clean water, and other things.

On the surface people think I am the one who’s leading the projects, but in reality, the people I am involved with in these projects are teaching me very important things about how to live well, or meaningfully. They often live very different lives to the one I am living, but still manage to kindly share their worries and joys with me. And in return, I share all of these lessons and stories with my husband and children. This gives us a lot to talk about over the dinner table.


* People like Lawerence Lessig, Seth Godin, Garr Renyolds, or Clay Shirky.