Public Decorum

One of the things visitors to Germany remark about is the fact that Germans don’t mind their own business in public. They do not shy away from telling you, a complete stranger, what they think about your behaviour, right to your face. For example, if you, as a pedestrian, happen to cross the street on a red light, or walk on a bicycle path, you are bound to get a subtle, or not so subtle, lecture on your lack of public decorum.

If you cross on a red light, you are being a bad example for children. Even if there are no children in sight as you run across the red light to catch your bus… here, they believe that children the whole world over will know you are a jaywalker.

Bicycle paths are often indistinguishable from the pedestrian side of the sidewalks. Left-hand-side of the sidewalk is a bicycle path. Right-hand-side is for pedestrians. In between, a white line. Simple. Equally, it is simple to step over from one side to another. Eah gawds! You run the risk of both cyclists and pedestrians taking you to task for doing this.

This paying attention to your fellow persons’ deed or misdeeds also has a flipside. To illustrate this I’d like to tell two stories. The first story occurs one evening as a friend and I are walking.

It’s late. It’s a Friday. We are walking along the road down on the harbour. We have on our woolen hats, winter jackets, and neon safety vests. (Am I hearing you comment, “How sexy?”) A muscle car from out of town, full of young men pulls up next to us. The passenger in the front rolls down his window and proceeds to ask us for directions to get to a certain disco. My friend gives them the instructions and off they go.

I told my friend that that situation would probably not happen in too many other countries. She looked at me puzzled; a group of young men asking two middle-aged women for road instructions; two middle-aged women giving instructions to a car full of young men along a dark harbour road.

The second story occurred last week. It’s night-time again. As I’m coming home, yes, once again from an evening’s walk. I notice an elderly woman slumped on a public bench near our apartment building surrounded by an elderly man (her husband) and three young women. One of the young women is holding the slumping woman’s hand. Rubbing it back and forth, while talking to the elderly man.

I walk up to the group and ask if I can be of any assistance. The woman has fainted. The group of three women stopped to help the couple. They’ve just called the ambulance. I go upstairs and get a blanket for the woman. Another pedestrian, a medical student, stops and offers his assistance. The ambulance comes. The medical student helps them and the husband get their patient into the warm ambulance. The three women go off on their night-on-the-town. I take the blanket back upstairs.

What I am trying to illustrate is how not minding your business is a good thing when it comes to living in a civilised society. Yes, it can be irritating when someone yells after you “Don’t cross on a red light. Think of the children”, but it can be ever so comforting have someone hold your hand when you are need.

Later...

As fate would have it, I watched this excellent TED Talk video a few hours after posting this article. Please take the time listen to Daniel Goleman talk about being a Good Samaritan. It is interesting that the two stories I mentioned above occurred while walking. This would support his premise that we need time to look at others in need.

P.S. I no longer run across the street on a red light. Because, as every mother knows, children posses a canny sense of knowing if their mother is a jaywalker or not.