My maternal grandmother was a dear soul. She was also a martyr, being married to my Irish grandfather over fifty years.
He was a terrible patriarch, but what did I know as a child. I assumed he like us, adored us as much as my grandmother did. This really wasn’t true, there was no one he adored or was concerned with above himself. Grandchildren don’t realise this. This realisation happens much, much later.
My grandfather became engaged to my grandmother when she was eighteen years of age (he was much older than she). They remained engaged for the next eleven years. In the meantime, he lead a lively life of a ballroom dancing bachelor. He was called “a ladies man”.
During the long long years of her engagement, my grandmother’s father required that she work. And so she did, as a secretary in an insurance agency. Year in and year out, while all the other young women left to marry and raise children, she stayed behind adding to her hope chest.
As a result of these agonising years of employment, my grandmother could not understand why my sisters or I would ever want to study and work. It made absolutely no sense to her.
Today is International Women’s Day. I’d like to salute my dear circle of friends, both near and far, and thank you for living such wonderfully diverse lifestyles. And, even more, this is also a salute to my dear grandmother, who taught me that even if she could not understand our lifestyles, choice is everything.
My grandmother was family focussed. I remember her baking lamingtons, Cornish pasties and sausage rolls (made with her own flaky pastry) for us kids. She had a wry sense of humor and nothing ever seemed to rattle her. She was born in 1900, lost a brother in WW1, lived through the depression (1930's). A I often wonder what it would be like to have adult-to-adult conversations with her now. My grandfather used to nick off to play billiards with his mates and spend all day every Saturday racing pigeons, and he used to bet on the horses. They hardly spent leisure time together except for family gatherings and evenings by the telly.
ReplyDeleteYou're right - there is so much we don't notice as children.