Ronni of the Time Goes By blog recently wrote an interesting article about how her writing has changed in the years since she started her blog. Apparently, it has changed in diverse, subtle, and unforeseeable ways. When I read the article, I was a good part fascinated and a small part envious of her experiences.
Even though she spent a lifetime writing for others (she worked in television), she’s discovered her own personal writing voice through blogging. What a delight that must be?
In contrast, I’ve spent my lifetime jumping from one language to another: mastering none, unlearning a few along the way. My first spoken language was Spanish, at six I learnt English, late teens French, and the last twenty-five years I lived and worked in German. Sound exotic, doesn’t it? Well, it’s not.
I may speak German fluently, but, sadly, grammatically incorrect. My command of English diminishes from year-to-year. I now speak a miserable French. I only understand, but no longer speak Spanish. I love all of these languages, but neither speak or write any of them well.
Yes, it is interesting to learn, through language, the nuances, the humour, and the pre-occupations of another culture. It is fascinating to always be challenged, never feel complacent. It can be ridiculously rewarding bridging friendships with people you normally would never meet unless you move to another country.
The problem is, language is so much more than a means of communication. It is an essential part of our identity. It is our voice. Who you are, what you think, what you dream, are all expressed through language. I sometimes wonder if I can’t speak or write in a language proficiently, will I bit-by-bit lose my identity?
When Ronni writes, “… omitting unnecessary adjectives, figures of speech, excessive verbiage we use in speech - my writing got sharper, more focused and clearer.” I yearn to say the same. Yet, I am reduced to accepting the suggestions from the WinWord grammar and spell check program and looking up the definition of words in a dictionary every five minutes or so. Where do I go from here? I’d like to write in my post #1000 or #2000 my writing has become clearer, it’s up to me to figure out how to do this!
I have been thinking about languages a lot since I started writing my blog in English, and especially since I stopped writing it in German too. Why am I, a German in Germany writing in English? And since I'm writing in English, listening to American music, and watching American TV shows I have started to think in English. Which is a little bizarre.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand I think that thinking often doesn't rely on language but on other things. Notions, feelings, maybe something visual or tactile.
Liz Strauss recently wrote a blog posts on "How do you think?" Maybe that would be interesting for you to read.
It must be weird to feel a little insecure in almost every language that one uses.