Winter solstice approaching

Outside our living room

Window darkness prevails.

The clock ticks away the dawn

That won’t shine or shimmer

Except on the dusty pages

Of a farmer’s almanac. 

Made a big mistake

Look... cooking lessons
Delightfully delicious.
My fridge is empty!

Simple joys

A new lemon press

Steel and muscle together

A vitamin shock.

Photo by CA Creative on Unsplash

Waiting for Giui to get his takeout coffee

Sing angels from high 
Back resting on the church wall

Drinking in the sun.

(This post is part of my "Growing Up & Growing Old" project.)  

Weirdly and tenderly happy for small wins

Daughter came in last
In a race she ran alone
Could not be more proud.

(This post is part of my "Growing Up & Growing Old" project.)  

Trying to stay calm

A daddy longlegs
Slipping on a flat surface
Uggh, lands at my feet.

Hibernation instinct

All of a sudden
Morning is darkness and tea
I am here again.

After all that training

I'm back from Izmir
Nature girl is in a race
We cheer her onward.

The glow of anticipation

Ümran's going home
Smiles and good food of Izmir
Suitcases are full.

Photo by T. Selin Erkan on Unsplash

A quiet realisation

I wake in the dark
Now need to turn on the lights
Summer disappears.

Saturday morning in Toronto

Joggers passing by
Red canoe on top of car
Mashed avo toast. 

Encounter

We round a corner of the street on a family joke. I'm smiling a big 'life is wonderful' smile, and I nearly collide with a man wearing a dark grey suit and black starring eyes. I connect to his eyes and fall into a pit of fear and hatred. His gaze whips my head to the side, severing our connection.

A microsecond later, my daughter cries in disgust; the man spit on her and my back in passing. We stop and assess the situation. Trying to come to terms with what just happened. I regret that eye contact. 

A policeman comes towards us, and another civilian comes up from behind, in the direction the man who spit on us was walking. The guy shouts to the policeman, "He pulled out two knives. He just reached into his bag and took out these two motherfuxxing knives!" The policeman asks, "Was he dressed in grey?" The guy confirms this. The policeman says they have everything in control. So the guy escorts us for some time up the road as we continue our way, mumbling the whole time, "two motherfuxxing knives."

I am not quite sure what to think. An hour later, and still numb.

(Written during our trip to Montreal in August.)

The beginning of the end of summer

Street cleaner swooshing
At four this morning
Mixing with birdsong. 

Early morning in Ste. Lucie

Sun over treetops
Floors creak while getting my tea
Sipping and smiling.

In the middle of nature

Ann's place in nature
Squirrels eating clothes on clothesline
Damm nasty creatures.

(Written during our trip to Montreal in August.)

Home away from home

Ann and David's place up in Ste. Lucie is the most remarkable place. A wooden structure built with logs. It took five years for the logs to settle into their rock foundation. Gold winters and hot summers temper the wood. The wood fibres shrink and expand in slow motion. The massive structure shifts in micro-movements until all the pieces merge together as one. Home.

I feel about this house like I did about Pat and Dave's place. A sanctuary that exists within nature. A place where there was an ever-changing sea landscape and seasong rolling off the reefs and pounding off the cliffside. The bright yellow chairs in the pool area, with their seats made of slung canvas, supported our backs so perfectly. The children swam, and we would read, glancing up occasionally to witness their looklook antics.

There were the sunsets on the terrace. The swimming under the stars before going to bed. All accompanied by bats flying and the serenade of tree frogs. 

At Ann's, it is less wild, but there is a sense of embracing wilderness. I can hear the sound of the wind dancing with the trees. There is birdsong in the early morning, but later on, there will be less song and more fluttering and scavaging for their young chicks. 

David makes creaks with the stairs as he comes down to let Lucie out. Then he goes up to change for his run through the woods. Once he leaves, there is nothing left but the stillness of the family sleeping and the swaying of the greens outside the open windows. There it is... a sigh from Lucie dreaming as she sleeps next to me. 

(Written during our trip to Montreal in August.)

When adults are not in sight

Close my eyes and wish

Childhood laughter, much glee
Lightness of being.

(This post is part of my "Growing Up & Growing Old" project.)  

Visiting my family in the past

Family visits
Tired from all the listening
Living room drama.

(This post is part of my "Growing Up & Growing Old" project.)

Shouting from the rooftop

I am Spartacus. Audacious. Wild. Brutal.
I am Mother Nature. Wild. Wonderous. Bountiful.
I am Destiny. Wonderous. Mysterious. Unrelenting.
I am Me. Mysterious. Wonderous. Wild.

(This post is part of my "Growing Up & Growing Old" project.)

It hasn't hit me yet

So, I am officially retired. Unofficially, I will continue working for a few years more. To have some fun. To continue earning money. To continue learning. 

I will quit quickly if I stop having fun. Promise to myself. There is too much to explore to waste on work that does not bring joy and satisfaction. Let's see how life develops. Long and slow is my deepest desire. 

Staying connected to friends and family. Helping others through coaching. As long as the work stays interesting, it means that the person taking the coaching is truly able to do the work. At the moment, those who I am coaching are either doing career coaching or financial literacy coaching. Topics that are dear to my heart. 

My greatest desire I have though is to explore and become an artist not only through action but as a fact. This is the scary part. This is also fire, earth, water and air unleashed.

Photo by Tom Podmore on Unsplash

(This post is part of my "Growing Up & Growing Old" project.)