26 December, 2005
Rarefaction
Feng-Mei Heberer, who is spending a year in China, wishes that the day-to-day life in her newly adopted country of residence become “selbstverständlich ohne an zu Entdeckendem wegzunehmen” (very rough translation: self-evident yet, retain a sense of constant discovery).
About a year after I moved to Germany, I went to a reading by an author (sorry, I forgot her name) who was born in Poland, eventually moved to Australia via France, and then, after many years, moved to Britain. Her was a holocaust survival story, written beautifully and fluidly in her adopted language, English.
After reading some of her work, someone in the audience asked her why she wrote in English, her third language (French was her second), instead of in Polish. She said she did this because it was a challenge to write about her life experiences in a language she could still speak fluently, but it was not her mother tongue. The foreignness of the language rarefied her childhood memories and sharpened her sense of loss without coating it in sentimentality.
She also said that she had come to embrace her foreignness. She liked living in London as a foreigner simply because she would/could never become complacent. She could never wander through a day without posing questions, making comparisons, or embracing newness.
20 December, 2005
Holding on by the Skin of my Teeth
In particular, two teachers whose students are doing pilot blogging projects at their school have told me they are seriously considering two further long-term blogging projects. The scope and timeframe of these new projects are more impactful than the present ones.
I am particularly pleased that the teachers were not discouraged by the mediocre, in my opinion, results of the students in their present blogs. The teachers were very sovereign about the initial outcome and optimistic that the students would eventually understand the essence of blogging with time and exposure.
Tomorrow, I am taking a train up to Kiel with a high school teacher, who also teaches at the University of Kiel, and her 9th-grade students to present their projects. I will give a presentation about our KiMM (Kids in Media and Motion) research project. It is going to be a long day.
If all goes well, I plan to decorate the Christmas tree with my dear hearts tomorrow evening after indulging in a warm meal and drinking a fine glass of red wine. Bliss.
17 December, 2005
When they start hanging
At one point in our journey, the bus drove by an elaborate store window display of evening wear. One of the women comments about the evening gowns and how they skimp so much on the material around the bosoms that it is impossible to wear a bra.
Her friend responded with the observation that once our breasts start to hang down, losing their battle with gravity, it is time to use “support and lace” to handle the situation. Though she personally enjoys a bit of freedom and goes braless when she is working in her garden. She assures her friend, it is ok to do this because it’s only she and the birds that can see.
16 December, 2005
Paraphrasing
Yesterday’s book (yes, we are talking about mass consumption here: 10 books in about 12 days on the last count) had two really good quotes, which I can only paraphrase:
"It’s easier to get forgiveness than it is permission."
"The difference between heaven and hell is the company you keep there."
Now, maybe both are much-used sayings, but they struck me as astute. I especially like the second one with respect to heaven and hell on earth. Where would I be without my wonderful, eclectic, crazy collection of family and friends?
11 December, 2005
Embarrassing Stuff
I find watching the movie too embarrassing, and though I can’t explain why, it is so. So I prefer to be writing my blog and just hearing the occasional good piece of music from the movie's sound track, inter-dispersed with a lot of yelling and screaming and sound effects of people falling down.
10 December, 2005
Sheriff Santa
07 December, 2005
Foul Mood
In Everywoman this week they debate the following:
“Tall people – do they achieve more?
Did you know that the
Well according to research from the Scottish Universities of
Never having been able to use the term tall in relation to my person (except for that one time when I was travelling through
(This post is part of my "Growing Up & Growing Old" project.)
03 December, 2005
Christmas Wonderland
Luebeck is an old town even by European standards: the city was founded approximately 900 years ago. Its medieval architecture creates a perfect Christmas backdrop or cultural wonderland: music events, art exhibitions, Christmas market abound. I love this city at this time of year, for everyone tries to outdo each other, in a very northern, understated-but-fine manner.
Even the cynics/ Scrooges/ Bah-humbuggers, like me, have a hard time not to be cheered by the lighted candles, classical music, spicy smells, and people milling around enjoying each others’ company.
The owner of the stationary shop (groth) and his wife live above the shop. Every year, they invite a brass orchestra to play classical Christmas songs before the open windows of their apartment for the delight of all the passing shoppers. Every hour they play for 15 minutes and then go back into the apartment to presumably libate their lips with mulled wine. During the progression of hours, the music they play is fueled more and more with good cheer.
A local goldsmith brings his living room centre piece downstairs to his shop and and displays his finer pieces of jewelry around this amazing beast. Yes, aghast, it is a real stuffed reindeer. But done ever so tastefully, don’t you think?
01 December, 2005
Gathering Speed
I can’t wait to surf with speed. Undoubtedly, addictive.
27 November, 2005
Restlessness
Talking about bums... I was in a restaurant the other day, and a three- or four-year-old (precocious) girl asked her mother how you spelled caca (in German, aa). The mother explained to her daughter that one does not write caca, but it would be written aa if she were to write it. The girl spent the rest of her lunch writing aa in her soup over and over again.
26 November, 2005
Starless Night
The first of Advent is tomorrow, though the Christmas Market started yesterday. This old Unesco city sets a magnificent stage for such celebrations. It also means that those of us who live on the island must crab-walk through the crowds for the next four weeks.
Read an article in the New York Times today. Even the title, “As Corporate Ad Money Flows Their Way, Bloggers Risk Their Rebel Reputation “, made me want to wince. What rebel reputation? Maybe Ms. Story should first go back a few decades to the founding of the telephone.
The telephone was initially an alternative to the telegraph: purely a means of information exchange. It took all those women working in the post offices to transform an information device into a communication device. It was this shift in content which started a revolution.
The same revolution, not an act of rebellion, has been happening for the last two years in the Internet, driven partly by bloggers and podcasters. The times of rebel or cowboy bloggers have long gone. Journalists, politicians, educators, parents, lovers, priests, and even, yikes, lawyers are using blogs these days. The fact that some of the bloggers have found schemes to earn money doing this seems very secondary.
25 November, 2005
First Snow
The one café I go to has a non-smoking section. Revolutionary. When the café first opened up, the non-smoking section was at the front of the café: drafty, small tables, uncomfortable upright chairs. I asked the manager why the sofa-section at the back of the café was just for smokers: didn’t they think non-smokers like to laze about?
They kindly made half the sofa-section non-smokers, but it doesn’t work: the smokers still sit in the non-smoking section every hour of the day.
So, I started a new sport. While ordering my coffee, I ask the café employees whether they could please ask the smokers to reseat themselves. And then I go and sit down and watch how ineffectively the employee carries out her job (e.g. informs the customers that this is a non-smoking section, but doesn’t ask them to leave) and how huffy and put-upon the smokers react to the news.
Oh, I know this is petty, but it is better to be petty with a sense of the absurd, than a militant self-righteous non-smoker.
23 November, 2005
Mobile advent calendar
Four groups of children, one from each of the fifth grades, new to the school and surrounding neighbourhood, go out each day during Advent equipped with PDAs, GPS, and digital cameras and open up specific doors and discover surprises behind these doors.
Not only are the fellow students and teachers of the school involved in creating surprises (e.g. Christmas carols sung in Latin, Spanish, French and English, as well as Christmas poems recited to the children by other children) for the 5th graders, but the neighbouring institutions (e.g. museums, grade school, hospital, churches, and daycare centre) also have prepared surprises.
You can imagine it like a mobile digital multimedia treasure hunt. That is if these words mean anything to you. I had a brainwave for the project in September, and since December seemed so far away, I decided we should go for it this year. Silly. Why didn’t I take into consideration that we (me and some university students) are also supporting about fourteen other projects in the schools?
Thus, long work days and frazzled nerves, but there was definitely a tingle, which tickled me awake at three this morning, and I couldn’t get back to sleep. Definitely, time to set in new life-work tactics.
22 November, 2005
Golden-Pink Haze
My mother called to tell a tale from her island in the sun. It concerns a British couple who moved into the neighbourhood. Very British. Very Hoity Toity. The type of British that makes all citizens of previous British colonies or Commonwealth countries feel very insignificant, unworthy, and, the worst, very bland.
(Something to be equalled to attending a dinner party as the only non-French woman. French women are masters at giving other women The Look.)
My mother was all in a stir: it turns out that Mrs. Hoity Toity was, in a past life (twenty years ago), a porno star. My mother’s glee has no limit, “You can even google her and see it on the Internet!”
It’s amazing how the verb “googling” has even reached the vocabulary of a 75-year-old?
18 November, 2005
Spare Time
I was sitting in one of my favourite restaurants this afternoon with Sara. Joan Armatrading was playing in the background. I suffered such a severe rush of nostalgia that I nearly got whiplash as I whipped back twenty years or more in time.
I was listening to her LP (we bought LPs then and not CDs), reading Jane Austin, drinking a generous portion of scotch, and generally drifting aimlessly through the weekends with time to spare. I was also addicted to T.S. Elliot, Keith Garret, rare glimpses of Sam Sheppard on the movie screen, and holding my wardrobe together with safety pins (not as a fashion statement, this was Way Before punk, but as a practical solution).
When did the term “spare time” last cross your lips? Seriously. When was the last time you actually had spare time?
They don’t even have a word for it in German. They have free time, which, if you know anything about anything, is not the same. Spare time is to be frivolously discarded, wasted, enjoyed or not enjoyed, depending on your mood of the moment. There is an element of timelessness about it. You learn what it is like to float in space while travelling in your spare time. Ok, this might be getting ridiculous because, obviously, I have never floated in space. So, the end.
P.S. For those that do not know, I am dyslexic and therefore don’t know how to spell names properly, let alone important masterful words. I am a slave to my spell-check program.
11 November, 2005
Two Eyebrows are not Enough
If going to see the movie is as much fun as reading the article, then I am all for it. Here is a precious observation,
“What would Mr. Bennet make of the film? He would be left wondering, I suspect, why God gave him only two eyebrows to raise.”Rainy Friday. Thank heavens. I've been so wanting a lie-on-the-sofa weekend, and now it has come.
10 November, 2005
What to do…
“Just revisitd your blog site - it's disconcertingly like reading someone's diary but also a lovely sort of indirect connection, in at a tangent as it were. Should I send comments? Is that the idea? And then whoever logs in gets to listen in on the conversation? I am not very familiar with blogs yet.”
The answers to her questions are yes, and yes. To anyone reading this blog, it would be nice to know your thoughts on the topics I write about. It’s not a must, just a can-do if the notion hits you.
My blog does not have a general theme and purpose as yet. I am sorry; it is going to take me a while to figure this out. Most blogs I like and visit have a political, social, or personal message. Mine doesn’t. I am very open to any suggestions.
Generally, blogs are public documents. At the moment, my blog is an honest, humble, but important alternative to sending serial letters.
Don't get me wrong about serial letters, I don’t mind receiving them, but I sure do not like writing them. A blog is something that you can read if you want without you feeling it is actually meant for you.
I like to share some of the mundane incidents or conversations in my daily life with friends and family. Blogging is an opportunity for me to relive those moments, as well as for you to gauge where I am sitting on a precarious seesaw between balance and chaos.
Hopefully, with time, I'll find some meaningful content to share with a public audience.
Extracting Wisdom Teeth - I'm Off Podcasting
The only thing they haven’t done yet is reflect on what they personally think it would be like for someone in a rolling chair to move around town and articulate these thoughts to the other students in the school. Giving interviews is fine, but actually creating posters about this topic is difficult. It is a bit like pulling teeth. Gosh, I hope I can extract some wisdom teeth today.
09 November, 2005
Sunny Cool Days
Off to a school in Travemünde this afternoon. The computer club is making up a ubiquitous learning/ website presentation about the
It’s a sunny, cool day. Wonderful to drive to the coast with.
I won a (virtual) prize from the author of one of my favourite blogs (360 degrees of sky) for guessing that all of the strange stories she told in a blog entry were correct.
05 November, 2005
Mid-afternoon Twilight
Everyone I know (practically) is down with a grippe. Strange, don’t remember all these winter flues hitting everyone simultaneously. I remember we all used to get one or two colds a year. Sometimes a winter cold, sometimes a summer cold, which, oddly, we thought was worse than winter colds. Or maybe not.
Sara has her gym tournament tomorrow. Hammed, our neighbour, knocked on the door to ask when we (her loyal father and mother) were going over, so we could pick him up on the way over. Feeling Rather Guilty, I said neither Sara's father nor I had thought of going to the tournament. So, Plan B, I will pick Hammed up at twelve, and my loyal husband generously says he’ll do the ironing.
Reminds me of the last year I danced in the Nutcracker at Les Grand Ballet Canadiens. My mother's friends kept on saying how wonderful I was and my mother had to admit that she hadn’t seen me that year: though to give her credit, she had seen me all the previous years. There was a lot of tisk-tisking and so off she went with my grandmother to see me.
Every time I came on stage, my grandmother would say very loudly, “There she is. Isn’t she wonderful?” After the initial ruffling of feathers of the nearby audience for talking out loud, my mother said most people got into the spirit of my grandmother’s enthusiasm, and someone even pointed me out to her later.
03 November, 2005
Bruised Heart
We started a new blogging program at the high school. It is about women's literature in the 19th and 20th centuries. It will be interesting to see what the grade 12 class comes up with.
31 October, 2005
Lost in Paradise
27 October, 2005
Lugury...
26 October, 2005
Stuffed Animal Love
I am off tomorrow on a vacation-from-family weekend. Yes, my weekends start on Thursdays. Oh, the joys and delights of a part-time position. There is obviously a long list of disadvantages (e.g. economic belt-tightening, jealousy from colleagues, dead-end-street as far as possible promotions), but, on the other hand, turning off the computer on Thursday afternoon and knowing I won’t be turning it on until Monday morning, gives me a buzz every time.
Sara asked me whether stuffed animals ever die. I managed to quickly reassure her that they never do. The comfort and joy they give to her will always be there as long as she believes in them.
Sara worries that she is not distributing her love and affection evenly throughout her large stuffed animal menagerie. She takes two of the animals with her to bed each night but often feels that the other animals are coming up short on the deal: even though she rotates the pick of the evening.
So, the question is…. is this little obsession of hers stemming from the always-feeling-guilty Irish gene, the tending-towards-melodrama Italian one, or the let’s-make-things-complicated German favourite pastime?
19 October, 2005
Heart-to-Heart
It was a rather teary and sad discussion. We twisted and turned around many aspects of these topics until she came to the conclusion that she just feels so bad that other children are suffering. My advice was to say, “If you don’t want to feel bad, then obviously you want to find a way to feel good. Maybe you can do this by doing something good”. So, she said she was going to make another drawing for Busayo* today and promptly fell asleep.
How I wish all of such discussions could be resolved so easily.
17 October, 2005
Celebrity Obsession
This whole aspect of the American culture is bizarre.
15 October, 2005
Oh, Rawdon!
Just watched the movie “Vanity Fair”. Hats off to my husband and son for sitting through the movie and offering some proper discussion about it afterwards. I liked it very much. Though I couldn’t figure out why she couldn’t fall in love with Rawdon (James Purefoy)… beyond his gambling, weak character, and lack of moral fibre, he was a great father.
12 October, 2005
1st Choice of Dinner Guests
- Margaret Atwood
- Jodie Foster
- Maureen Dowd
- Michaëlle Jean
- Kofi Annan
- Joschka Fischer
- Barack Obama
- Bob Herbert
- Michael Ignatieff
- Michael Ondaatje
They are not listed in order of preference. I find each equally fascinating.
(Note: ten years down the line, my dinner guest list has definitely evolved since this post.)
(This post is part of my "Growing Up & Growing Old" project.)
09 October, 2005
Age Wave
The age wave is my generation of people in about ten to fifteen years' time. At this point, the kinks in the pension plan will be blatantly apparent, as well as just about every other thing concerning the medical system, housing, taxes, the work world, etc. … the political, social, educational, and governmental systems will experience massive changes.
In other words, we are finally going to be able to whup ass when it comes to making ourselves heard and making choices that could, hopefully, positively influence times to come.
07 October, 2005
Freezing our butts off in an outdoor café
These are titbits of what I took away from the conversation today:
- Sometimes I agonize about some development in a relationship, wanting to believe that it can be made whole again, but subconsciously, I know that this is no longer possible
- Authoritativeness and authenticity evolve from a common strength
- Theoretically, it is possible to speak truly and honestly. Practically, it is a hard thing to do even some of the time
- To share the minute details of your woes with a friend and not listen to, or want, any advice is taking advantage of that person
01 October, 2005
Rain, Rain, Go Away
Sara had to be taken to the emergency room yesterday because she strained some muscle around her hip during the school’s relay race. She ended up hyperventilating with the pain and drama of the moment. She had settled down by the time I showed up at the track meet. The head of first aid services insisted that the hip should be looked into because it could be a fine-line break.
So, she gets to hobble along on crutches for a few days. I am hoping that her using the crutches will lose their allure quickly. She and Julien are supposed to go off to Erlangen on their own later this week.
(The first aid doctor had the audacity to ask me if Sara was someone who was resilient to pain or was she overly sensitive (translation - a whoosh). Pleease, he was talking about my precious Italian princess drama queen! I was so stunned by the question because of the audience: Sara, Julien, and other first aid helpers that I couldn't answer at first. Sara answered in a trembling voice but with total conviction: I'm more of a tough guy. Oh, don't you love self-illusion?)
25 September, 2005
Rethinking Things
Originally, I wanted to just write for the sake of writing. Then I thought maybe I would give the blog address to friends and family (well, my sister). The logic behind this was simple: the blog would give insight to these people, if they were interested, about everyday occurrences and random thoughts in my life. An alternative to serial letters, which I do not like in any form or manner. I don’t mind reading serial letters, but I sure do not like writing them.
Yet, isn't a blog a public document to be shared with the public?
23 September, 2005
Verbal Botox
"Celebrities use clichés as a form of verbal Botox - a cheap and manageable way of smoothing out the truth, which is always more haggard than they want us to believe."
Verbal Botox... just perfect.
22 September, 2005
Farewell my Harbourview
Praise to the most beautiful office complex in all of Luebeck and possibly the world. Thank you for the endless sunrise silhouettes over the medieval city skyscraper. Wish I had taken a picture of one of those sunrises.
Sniff! I will miss you! Farewell ol' harbourview.
The three women in the main office and the system administrator have been working like crazy, packing away everything in the institute: in preparation for Monday's move. Feel bad that I haven’t been able to help. Going to go out and buy them extra chocolate for sure. Not that this will make them any less angry at all of us office slacks who have just been doing their day-to-day work and ignoring the fact that they have had to do that and all of the packing as well.
20 September, 2005
Ultimate Cocktail Cure
I wanted to go to the fitness club this afternoon for a workout and a yoga class, but I decided to just “work slow” at the stuff on my office desk. I’ll go off soon to the sushi place on my own for dinner.
I have been reading some blog-posts on the Freakonomics blog by a fellow called Seth Roberts. There are parts of what he writes that sound, to me, very strange, but other parts have really triggered thoughts about individual energy flow, weight loss or gain, and basically … how to live each day in observation and reflection while trying to overcome those problems, which we battle year in, year out.
What I like about the whole notion is that it means that I do not go to a doctor or a counsellor or friend, etc., for a cure to my problems but for new input for something that might help. It is up to me to figure out whether this new something is, or is not, helping; and then take appropriate steps otherwise.
18 September, 2005
Sunday Evening
A dear friend wrote to say that the second breast surgery was completed. She is going to have to have radiation therapy but no chemo, and she doesn’t want to do the hormone supplements. Oh, how I hope she does well.
The German elections results are not shining at all. Liberals (SDP) 34%, Conservatives (35%), Green 8%, FDP (?) 10%. The FDP (yellow) says they will not agree to a "street light" coalition (red (SPD), yellow, green). So it looks like a large (SPD and CDU) coalition, which means no opposition party. Ugh!
I am sooooo happy that the Conservatives didn’t come in with a majority though. Who are they kidding; do they really think the liberals are responsible for the current economic problems and not the Kohl government of 16 years before?
There appears to be over 70% turnout…. pretty good.
Why can’t Bush be impeached for his lack of leadership and neglectful practices in New Orleans? If I remember correctly, Clinton was nearly impeached for having oral sex and lying about it. Surely the perversity of Bush’s inaction and the ensuing deaths can also be considered immoral…
My son has escaped into his sister's room to read and listen to the election results because I am writing on the computer in his room. She asks him to go through her French vocabulary list with her. He wants to know why I, her Mother, is not willing to practice with her. I tell her I am blogging. Priorities!
17 September, 2005
One of Little Wisdom
Nature Girl and a boy in her class were voted as class speakers. She complained the other night about the fact that she has to do all the work (e.g. collecting absentee lists and passing on school news to the children), and the boy who is the class speaker with her is doing nothing. I, in all my adult wisdom and having worked in a “man’s world” for over twenty years, suggest that she ask him politely but firmly to take over one or two specific tasks for a specific period of time.
She didn’t think this would work. When I asked her why, she responded by saying that not only did this boy lack leadership skills (my words), but he is aways in the middle of any trouble that takes place in the class when the teacher isn't there. When I asked for a specific example, she mentioned that this boy helped hang another boy out of the window during recess.
Very quietly and calmly, I asked her what classroom they were in when this happened (their art room is on the 4th floor!). She looked at me as though I was crazy; what does the classroom have to do with this boy not doing his class speaker duties? It turns out that they were in their homeroom on the first floor at the time: but still, a head is a broken head if he had fallen.
I gave up. This whole topic overtaxes my Little Mind. So, I suggested she talk to her homeroom teacher about it. Thus, once again proving myself to be one of little wisdom or sovereignty.
13 September, 2005
Hippidy Birddray
Was going to go on to yoga this afternoon, but I was just tooooooo poooooooped. Spent six hours in a school running from one project to another. Excellent teachers and very enthusiastic students. What more could I ask for?
12 September, 2005
Serendipity
A fifth-grade class is doing a stop-motion animation (thumb cinema- Daumkino) project: which portray encounters of various creatures/monsters (drawn in primary colours) and how these encounters produce strange and wonderful consequences (drawn in secondary colours). The students have made up their creatures and written their storyboards. They start this week filming the stop-motion animations.
A grade 9 class has started the “Marketplaces of the World” sound seeing tour (podcasting) project. The students are also responsible for film and photo documentation of the project. There is an exchange group here from French speaking part of Switzerland. Hoping to lasso the teacher or students into participating in the project as well.
Another grade 9 project is titled “Who am I in 20 years” (or maybe it is called something different). It is an interactive website presentation about five students of today (2005) and then in twenty years (2025) (yes, I still can add). The students have “created” five representative persons with biographies, likes and dislikes, etc., which they are going to present in English on a website.
The grade 13 class is also doing an interactive website presentation, which is part of an extensive project concerning career orientation.
My flavour-of-the-month project is a pervasive game project in the form of a mobile (in the real world) advent calendar project. The grade five (the first grade in high school) classes each have two student mentors. These mentors are going to program an interactive multimedia questionnaire (with software one of our university students has developed called Moles) for PDAs.
In December, the children will go on a treasure hunt each day to discover a “door” in or around the school and face a challenge. If they accomplish the challenge, they will get a piece of marzipan and part of a puzzle for their Advent calendar.
The best news though, was the “unofficial”, but ever so longed-for information that one of “my” master students, whose thesis I have been supervising, will be receiving an A on his thesis. This is the best mark given. Something he very much deserves, but nevertheless, we are both in a state of ecstatic shock.
08 September, 2005
Fencing with Words
Over the past twenty years, I have tried to explain to German colleagues how their spaghetti texts just won’t “translate”. One thought, one sentence; subject − verb − object; no convoluted Russian doll sentence structures; consistent terminology… I have gone over all the ground rules again and again. Admittedly, it is hard to go against your language culture: the roots of our language are meshed into all of our thoughts.
So, in this colleague's case, it is nice to work with someone who listens and instantly responds. Besides developing digital storytelling systems, he is also an avid fencer. This may allow him to change his language strategies with apparent ease.