True love

I am in the waiting room of my ob-gyn. Nervous and feeling strangely out of place. There are three other couples in the waiting room. Each woman shows late stages of pregnancy.

My pregnancy is young. So young, I cannot wrap my head around the fact that, if all goes well, I am going to be a mom. A single mom. My child's father is not going to be my partner. At that point, I am not even sure he will acknowledge he is the father.

So, I turn my eyes away from the seemingly happy couples and glance down at the coffee table covered in gossip magazines. Beneath the pile, I see the corner of one of those beautiful photography books and inspiring quotes.

The photos are all in black and white, beautiful images of people in motion and stillness. Beneath every picture is an inspiring quote. I look at the images, read the quotes, and grow quiet at a quote I will paraphrase: "You can only find true love if you first have a love of truth." 

Truth – I am going to be a mom. Truth – I am so happy someone has chosen me to be their mom. Truth – I'm really scared and alone, but not really.

TR update: another rework of the script and new ideas

This month has been crazy. I am working on so many different parts of getting the trip on an Oldendorff bulk carrier to happen. It is still not greenlighted, but I am hoping by mid-June I will know one way or another if I can go on the voyage. 

Here is the website I made to collect all the writing and podcasting about this and other journeys I took at sea. 

That doesn't mean I have forgotten about Talkshow Rivals. I did another rework of the script because a beta reader came up with some really smart ways to make the character of the player, Kay, more alive.

Now, I have to finish putting in all the corrections and new sections into the text.

Julien has convinced me that I should use AI to help me create an interactive graphic novel of one of the scenes, so that I can show game developer companies, what the game could look like. Doing a interactive comic version would be too much at this point in time.

I am also researching and looking at what interactive graphic novels are out there.

What all of this means is, for the next few months I am putting the project on the back burner. If all goes well, I will take it up again after the voyage is over. Since I have been working on it for the last 25 years, another few months won't matter.

Beautiful sound: fashion statement

The fairy-like tinkling of silver bells woven into a young woman's boots as she walks down the street.

I am... a podcaster

One of the many remarkable things about the last company (EO) I worked for is their retirement present. They gave me a voyage anywhere in the world for any amount of time, with airfares and hotel accommodations to and from the vessel included.

I'm going to explore all sorts of new ideas and technology along the way. I've decided to do an oral travel log, from beginning to end. Since the vessels have only restricted access to internet, I can't use AI to help edit the interviews and personal reflections.

Still, I've decided to approach the project as if I'm a professional podcaster. Let's see what happens.

Explore: My inner warrior

Years ago, I had a long conversation with eWa about the challenges of balancing work and motherhood. She introduced me to the Buddhist concept of the "inner warrior."
 
I remember us laughing as we imagined what our inner warriors might look like and what would happen if they ever surfaced. That laughter, filled with warmth and camaraderie, was invigorating—especially at a time when I was battling insomnia, dealing with a terrible colleague who made work miserable for everyone, and struggling with the relentless chatter of my inner critic.
 
Now, having come out of retirement a few months ago, I find myself immersed in a slew of new projects. Thankfully, each one is a collaboration with one or two other creative spirits, making the work a true delight.
 
What has surprised me most, though, is the unexpected emergence of my inner warrior. It’s as if they had been lurking at the periphery of my soul like a barracuda waiting to strike. All it took was granting myself permission to fully show up in artistic collaborations and step into situations I had previously avoided.
 
To be brave. To be audacious. 
 
The feeling of liberation that comes with shedding old social restraints is exhilarating. And perhaps the biggest surprise? My inner warrior is not the young, (very handsome) Japanese samurai I had once imagined. Instead, she is an elder—an old woman with infinite power, wisdom, and an unshakable presence.
 
What a joy and revelation it is to finally meet this invincible being, living so close to my heart. 

Beautiful sounds: squirrel

The high-speed stamping of a squirrel’s foot, a burst of energy before it darts off to its mate.