Poignant realisation

Perfect occasion
Check unwanted facial hair
I'm off to Berlin!

TR update: the little engine that could

I have always liked the story of the little engine that could. In my version, the Talkshow Rivals script I wrote 25 years ago is the large locomotive train that broke down. The little train that could is driven by Amol, a graphic artist and game developer. And, hopefully, or possibly, Elsa, a graphic designer. 

The three of us have gone through different stages of talks. We are at the "I think I can" stage of pulling the proof of concept and artistic concept up the mountain.

It's slow, arduous work, but a strong element of fun and collaboration makes the effort spent really satisfying. 

#booksIlove: Hamlet, Prince of Denmark: A Novel Book

Title: Hamlet, Prince of Denmark: A Novel, by A. J. Hartley and David Hewson, narrated by Richard Armitage
When did I first read the book: when it first came out as an audiobook in 2014
 
One of the things that has bothered me since having to read Shakespeare in high school is that I never understood what all the characters were saying. It bugs me that this remained so over much of my teenage years and adulthood, even though I saw many of the plays being performed, as well as reading them, or parts of them, numerous times over the years.
 
This book is a game changer. It keeps me riveted to the story every time I listen to it. I finally have a sense of knowing the story in a way that I never did before.

#artists I have known: Maila Shanks

(photo: Newfoundland)

Back from the glorious morning walk, enjoying the breakfast smoothie, and have some time to tackle your questions about by life as an artist…here goes!

Dr. May Banham, an old family friend, and professor of paediatric psychology at Duke University, used to visit us in Pte-Claire, every summer, on her way home to England. She came by when I was six months old and told the folks to put a pencil in my hand asap, as it would be the best means for me to express myself and enhance my development. 

I remember drawing copiously on paper towels, which were easily accessed from a dispenser in the kitchen. The early drawings I referred to as, “action pictures”. Like cartoon strips, the characters had words in bubbles, which were short vertical lines for each word. This was a source of great frustration to me and served to accelerate my actual learning to read/write. 

Sometimes I worked out difficult emotional episodes in my life by drawing. A good example was the time I came back from my brother’s cub-scout event where I was terribly jealous of his getting lots of attention for having won a medal. Mom said I immediately reached for a paper towel and proceeded to draw a very ugly little cub-scout, beside a large, beautiful self-portrait… Voilà, mood turned from sour to delighted! 

As soon as I could read, the word, “ART” was a beacon…it always jumped out at me. I somehow knew that this was my one constant, and my best and only truly reliable friend. Everything to do with ART was of great interest to me. My father was a “commercial artist”, during the 60’s. He used to bring home all kinds of work-related paraphernalia; including the very first felt pens/sharpies; sheets of Letraset (transferable typeset in a zillion fonts); and many pots of gouache, and artist quality coloured pencils and brushes. He encouraged me to use all of it, and both parents and extended family all supported my artistic bent with constant approval and acclamation of whatever I produced. 

As I grew up, my aesthetic sensibilities were honed through exposure and time spent with my parents and teachers, discussing all manner of art, including painting, sculpture, music, literature, architecture, and photography. It all fascinated me. 

Art was not really something I shared with my peers. I had lots of friends with whom I studied at school, played sports and games with, along with various other activities. Art was always something I mostly kept to myself. I began keeping a “logbook”, when my family hit a rough patch, due to my parents’ health issues, resulting in a dramatic shift in our overall security and financial means. 

Suddenly thrown into a much darker reality, art became a veritable life raft for me. The logbook (writing and drawings) habit has stayed with me since the age of 11 years. Still have a running one, and somehow managed to keep them all, despite my vagabond-nomad life.

As I entered adulthood, art was very much a constant, if not the main focus for me. Undoubtedly, the latter was due to what I’d gleaned from my life experience thus far, which was never to put art in the role of providing my livelihood. I always maintained a very practical day job and kept my art pretty well free from any monetary involvement. People referred to me as an “artist”, but more for my demeanour and the company I kept. “Artist”, at that time, had a rather negative, somewhat seedy connotation. This always irked me. 

There was a time during my 20’s-30’s when I collaborated with artistic friends and participated in a number of exhibitions and poetry events. I had a couple of solo exhibits of my artwork as well, which I enjoyed immensely. They were well received and provided the means for framing and offering my work to a broader audience than just my friends’ circle. Yet, this seemingly positive response never ignited the ambition to become a professional artist. In fact, it almost caused the opposite reaction. 

I saw more and more people referring to themselves as “artists” who made very good money at it. This gave the “Artist” a much more acceptable guise, but the “art” seemed less authentic, more commercial, and not so interesting to me. My last exhibit was at the McGill Faculty Club, marking my having received a BFA; which secured my position as a lecturer in McGill’s Cont. Ed. Department, teaching Intensive English as a Second Language. 

I travelled extensively through Latin America (Acapulco to Tierra del Fuego, and back) in my late 20s-early-30s, in two instalments, on a very limited budget. These trips allowed me to develop all manner of life skills and self-sufficiency. There was no end to the lessons a lone gringa had to learn, that’s for sure. Lots of notes and sketches record these mystical pilgrimages. 

In my mid-30’s I went off to India, with the idea of leaving my, “teacher” persona, to that of a “student”. I’d heard that Sanskrit was the mother of all our Indo-European languages and that India was virtually another planet. That all sounded perfect, as my hometown had become a kind of playpen, too easy for me to navigate and not providing enough inner wisdom. I’ve never regretted this decision. 

While in India, I continued to do artwork, including all kinds of devotional imagery in pictures and murals. I also began to sing a lot and play some percussion instruments during traditional “kirtan” sessions. There was non-stop learning; as in these new surroundings, initially without language skills; I was humbled into a state of almost infant-like ignorance. 

Everybody was my teacher there, including animals, insects and small children. Being in such an alien environment, on my own, was indeed an opportunity to get face-to-face with my real self. All of this granted me a whole new beginning, leaving behind old notions, digging up old traumas and discarding them as I got to know my true self. What a boon! The creative process has never wavered, as I never stopped creating with all/any fabulous materials, people, and opportunities afforded me. It has been one huge, art installation after another for me.

Designing clothes, itineraries, making jewellery, co-creating several beach resorts in Goa, with Rashid…the restaurant menus, the furnishings, the huts, the staff and customers… a never-ending kaleidoscope of wonderful, kinetic, art installations! 

How many people get to do this? It’s not for everybody, mind you, as it entails having all the fear within scared out of one. Not the easiest nor most pleasant experience, but certainly invaluable, especially in retrospect. 

People often ask, “Don’t you paint anymore?”  “The painting has morphed into a whole way of life,” I lamely tell them. Perhaps with time, less mobility, and a clearer vision, I may turn to my dear ✍️ and 🎨 in order to continue to share the infinite suffering and joy I’ve experienced, and we all experience in our own unique ways. These are what life is all about.

A fairy landscape

From my train window
Silver shimmers in the woods
Ice-tipped tree branches.

Explore: time-boxing

One of the first areas of exploration I’m diving into is time-boxing. This is a self-management tool I have used in the past, but I never really liked it unless I was scheduling time off from raising kids or doing my job. Something like an hour to DYOB (do your own business) or a Saturday “say no to everyone but yourself”.
 
Recently, I was inspired by Nir Eyal’s ideas from his interview with Ali Abdaal, "How to Stay Focused and Beat Distraction". So, I've decided to experiment with this method for the next 3-4 months. I aim to live according to my calendar and time-box my work in areas I hold dear.
 
Eyal doesn’t like to-do lists, which I've also tried and dropped many times over the years. He advocates for time-boxing as a way to truly align our time with our intentions. The way Eyal talks about it, the advantage of time-boxing is that it isn’t about finishing every task—because life’s unpredictable, and it is really hard to know how long a task will take. Also, what does "finish" mean when it comes to writing or creative work? 

He highlights the difference between time-boxing reflective work (which requires focus) and reactive work (which needs to get done quickly and painlessly). Asking oneself: Did I focus my attention on the activities I intended to do? Was I able to do them without distractions?
 
To make admin work more enjoyable, I’m adopting the idea suggested by Ali Abdaal (the interviewer in the video) of doing a regular Admin Party. I’ll allocate specific time for this type of work (e.g. answering emails, banking, and scheduling doctor’s appointments) and try to make it fun. For example, when I’m at a café or the library—where I enjoy some level of distraction—I’ll dedicate that time to administrative tasks. Adding constraints and some variability can keep things engaging while helping me stay on track.

On the other hand, for artistic and reflective work, I want to take a different approach when setting up my weekly schedule. I’ll ask myself, “Knowing the limited time I have, how would the person I want to become in the future spend their time?”

#booksIlove: The Golden Compass trilogy

Title: The Golden Compass, Dark Materials, by Philip Pullman
When did I first read the book: soon after it came out in 1995
 
This trilogy was one of Claudia's finds. Right from the first book, Pullman created a whole new world with such eery precision.
 
I nearly always "read" the series as audiobooks because the experience is like watching a movie with your eyes closed, but my sense of imagination turned on full volume. The voices, the music, and the pace of the reading are magnificent. It's no wonder the quality is so fantastic; Philip Pullman, Joanna Wyatt and 10 more actors are lending their voices to the production.
 
The books are brilliant… the audiobooks are brilliant to the power of two.

Back on the cushion

So excited. I’m back in the “heart prayer” meditation program at the Wennigsen monastery near Hannover. The 850-year-old monastery transports you back through the countless lives of those who sought contemplation and reflection. The group of participants bring kindness and joyful energy into the room. The program leaders have years of wisdom and experience guiding us along our spiritual journeys.

Looking back on 2024: a year of change

You know how we all say we'll do a year-end reflection, but it usually gets pushed back? Well, this time, I actually got it done quickly - just an hour!
 
Taking time to reflect feels like catching up with an old friend - it helps me appreciate all the big moments, tough spots, and growth along the way. Here's what made 2024 special:
 
The Big Stuff
 
Retiring was huge! It happened so fast - I was running global workshops right until the end, barely having any time to say proper goodbyes. But wow, the moment I stepped away? There was such a sense of freedom. It felt like putting down a backpack I didn't even know I was carrying. Now can explore my creative side without constraints.
 
One of my proudest developments was getting my confidence back with Talkshow Rivals. The project had me doubting myself for a while, but working with amazing people like Amol, Sara, Sarah, and Craig helped me believe in it again.
 
And speaking of Sara - watching her start a job at the German Space Agency was absolutely incredible. Though I can't take any credit, seeing her step into space security just fills me with joy.
 
Dreams for 2025

1. Finally getting Talkshow Rivals from my head to the screen - selling the script would be amazing
2. Doing steady and interesting work as a content developer and ghostwriter
3. Going on an incredible sea voyage (best retirement gift ever!) from Australia to Singapore on a bulk carrier
4. Publishing my Tornado Anna children's book with Josi's beautiful illustrations

Looking back, 2024 was all about transitions - letting go of the familiar and embracing new adventures. 

Frozen composition

White cat at window 

Yellow and puce walls, blue skies 
My heart, filled with joy.

This year’s theme: explore

This year’s theme is going to be “Explore”. This theme feels expansive and full of possibility—an invitation to venture beyond the familiar and discover new horizons.
 
Exploration can take many forms. It might mean travelling to a place I’ve never been, learning a new skill I’ve always wanted to learn, or delving into ideas and cultures that challenge my perspectives. It’s about curiosity, growth, and the courage to step outside of my comfort zone.
 
For me, exploration is as much about the inner journey as it is about the outer one. What will I learn about myself through these experiences? How will I grow and change? These are the questions I’ll be carrying with me throughout the year.