30 December, 2011

Being Alone

I left home to boarding school at 14, went alone to live in France at 16, and proceeded to choreograph a life of my own, on my own until I was 32 and my son entered my life. Nearly 20 years were spent figuring out the different hues of solitude, alone, and lonely.

Once you are on your own, no matter if you are alone or sharing a space with others temporarily, you are both the choreographer and dancer of your days.

There were times of sharing apartments with friends and strangers alike. Some friends stayed friends. Some strangers became friends. Some of both just disappeared into the dusty archive of "chalk it up to experience".

Most of all though, over those 20 years, I woke up alone and wandered out into the day.

I stumbled across Tanya Davis and Andrea Dorfman video poem a while ago and then again today. It speaks volumes of wisdom from someone who possesses equal portions of lion-heart and frightening vulnerability.

The poem is wonderful reminder of all those moments and years of finding the right rhythm within myself.


  1. Funny, I stumbled across this again, too, the other day. You are right, there are so many nuances to solitude and I've certainly lived through my share of them. Even though I was single and 'alone' for many years I am experiencing my deepest loneliness now that I am married, not because of my husband but because of where we live. Luckily I am comfortable in my own company but I am looking forward to the day when we will be surrounded by good friends again. Ich wuensche Dir einen guten Rutsch ins Neue Jahr! Kerstin xo

  2. Kerstin, thank you so much for commenting. I've just added your blog to my reader. This year, like yours, has been a crazy mix of new challenges and diverse experiences. I'm hoping that I will be back blogging more in 2012 and commenting on dear friend's blogs. I've missed our connection... but that changes now.

    All the best of health, happiness, and loving company in the New Year!

  3. Thanks, Lia! And I will be very happy, too, to reconnect :) xo