In part 1, I explained why it is challenging to learn German quickly through government-supported language programs. In this blog post, I'll share how to maximize these programs' benefits. Besides helping you learn basic vocabulary and grammar, these courses offer a unique opportunity to meet a diverse group of immigrants. Use this time to connect with people you might not normally encounter.
Regardless of who is in your language course, everyone has taken a significant journey to get there. They have navigated many experiences, often harrowing, with German bureaucracy. To truly understand a country, it’s essential to experience how it treats its marginalized populations. Moving to Germany means that learning the language, integrating into society, and making this country your home will forever be part of your life story.
You can learn a lot about yourself by observing how others cope with the challenges of integration. It's often easier to recognize mistakes in others than in yourself. By becoming aware of how other people's mindset or approaches influence their ability to cope, you are taking a step in the right direction in self-awareness. Also, having a few buddies to explore the city can make you feel more brave about doing things outside of your comfort zone. Knowing these two things, you might see the advantage of befriending your fellow participants, even if it is for a short while.
When I first arrived in Germany, I attended language lessons at a night school. The course was filled with other businessmen and women, some spouses, and a few university students. It was incredibly boring, and most of the participants, including myself, were bad at class participation and about doing our homework. The language teacher was understandably frustrated with us and likely taught for the money rather than a passion for teaching German.
The first person I befriended was Cenera, a Brazilian woman whose husband worked for Siemens. They had a son who attended a German kindergarten. Cenera spent her mornings cleaning their apartment and shopping before picking up her son at noon. Her afternoons were spent with him at the local playground. She had no friends or hobbies.
When we discovered that we lived near each other, she asked if we could go jogging together. Neither of us had ever run before, but her husband ran marathons and so explained how we could best start. Cenera didn’t speak any English or French (my active languages), and I didn’t speak any Portuguese. Our initial months of jogging together were awkward. It took us many weeks to keep up a slow jog for twenty minutes. And, our conversations were limited due to our rudimentary vocabulary and nonexistent grammar. Between being constantly out of breath and wracking our brains to dig out some words to express ourselves, "going jogging" during those early months was rather painful.
However, a miraculous thing happened: we started paying more attention to what our German teacher was teaching us. We began doing our homework together and, most importantly, we started teaching each other how to speak German. Though our German wasn’t perfect, bit by bit, we became more fluent. As she improved, so did I.
The second person I befriended was Karen, whose husband was an officer at the American Army Base. Karen and I struck up a conversation and discovered many shared interests, from Bach to Victorian literature. Her husband was often away on maneuvers, so we spent a lot of time together. She spoke fluent German because her father, a history professor specializing in the Lutheran church, took sabbaticals in Germany. Thus, she had lived in Germany numerous times as a child.
Karen was the first foreigner I met who could speak German fluently and unabashedly loved living in Germany. She didn’t have patience with the other wives or attend any of the Officer Wives Club events, except those she had to because of her husband. She was unique in that way and taught me how someone from "outside" could make a home in Germany.
Language programs are often called integration programs. While the schools and teachers focus on teaching you German pronunciation, grammar, and vocabulary, you can also focus on integration. Get to know those in your course; they are most likely as shy and confused as you are. Learning about their struggles and the strategies they use to survive can create true connections. Who knows, maybe you can help each other feel more at home in Germany
