Let them not say*

It is such an incidental slippery assumption, “you must have been a good mother” after someone meets one of my adult children. What nonsense. One of the wonders of age is realizing how good parenting does not necessarily equate with children growing into responsible kind adults. It is so much more complicated or nuanced a process than that.

No one is a Good Mother all the time. Given, there are some mothers who might be consider Terrible Mother most of the time. Instead, we mothers slide back and forth on the scale all the while. A day spent on the good end of the scale is considered a victory.
 
What I hope is that my children can remember me as being engaged and excited to have them in my life. It has been so from the moment they were born and continues to this very day. There is not one moment that I have not loved them deeply. There have been many moments though that I fell far short of being a Good Mother. For this I will continue to ask for forgiveness. For this I will try to live a life of a good actions, kind words, and humble aspirations.

 
This post was inspired by Jane Hirshfield’s poem, Let Them Not Say.

(This post is part of my "Growing Up & Growing Old" project.)