Starting out on a pioneer journey

Forty years ago, during orientation week at the University of Waterloo, one of our professors looked down at Myrna and I, the only two women in the freshman year of electrical engineering, and said the following,

"Though women are very much under represented in the lecture halls of this university. Please know that you are welcomed. It is my personal experience that the women we have had in our program prove to be as ambitious and more skilled than all the rest of you guys. So, take note!"

Being one of two women amongst hundreds of male students was terrifying. I knew that I was not as ambitious as the other students, and I was most certainly not more skilled. In fact, I was completely puzzled why the university accepted me at all considering that I was missing two academic years. My feeling on that day, hearing those roaring words of confidence was, "He is crazy. That is not going to happen. I will be lucky if I can muddle through".

And muddle through I did. Always in the lower half of the class. Always having to work my ass off to compensate for those two missing years of high school calculus, physics, and chemistry. 

Yet, I did receive an honours degree, albit by the skin of my teeth. And then I decided to go and try my luck at finding a job in Germany in medical equipment. And there it was again. "We have never had a woman engineer working in our department. We have never had a foreigner working here in this position. We don't know if you will be accepted." 

In the last 35 years I have done my darnedest to navigate my way through, at times, a very patriarchal, misogynous, and xenophobic corporate working environment. Considering this was a time when the ideas of micro-aggressions, anxiety gap, #metoo were completely unconceivable, I did manage to muddle through quite well. I did not navigate the halls of the corporate world gracefully, but nevertheless I did manage.

Last week, something miraculous happened. One of my favourite companies that I work for as an external consultant and trainer, offered me a full-time permanent job position. It will be exciting work. There is a very engaged team. Their offices are in walking distance from my home. There will be travel to their foreign offices world wide. And even though all of this is rather exciting, it is something else that excites me most.

As mentioned in the video above, multi-generational work groups is the future working environment. One that my grown children will probably find themselves working in more and more as the years go on. Currently, it is not so. Ageism is, in my opinion, one of the least mentioned vulnerable minorities when it comes to representation and diversity. So it is with great pride and elan that I am setting out at the age of 60 on this new career path. This time I have the ambition and skills to shine.

Best Idea Ever: Maid Marian Tax (rebate)

As a working mother who has worked for the last 35 years and someone who is very conscientious that there was never any pay parity in the positions I worked in, I have an idea about what can be done right now to erase the bitterness and resentment in the hearts of all working women of my generation. I would like to introduce an idea I am calling The Maid Marian Tax (rebate)*. This is how it works.

For all Millennials and post Millennials who are currently employed and paying income tax, there should be a box in the income tax form that asks “How many years did your mother work?”. Depending upon the number written down in this box, the applicant would receive a sizable tax rebate according to the years their mother worked without fair pay.

Not how much your mother earned. Not what level of education she received. Not the number of employees under her management. No, none of that. Just how many years did she work.

If I knew that my son and daughter would receive financial benefits for the rest of their working careers because of all the years I worked and toiled for less pay than my male counterparts, that would still the beast in my belly roaring, knowing I will never see the money that is morally owed to me. I would be happy to know that all children of working moms would know their mother’s contribution continues to influence their quality of life for a long long time ahead.

* The reason I call my idea the Maid Marion Tax comes from the RobinHood Tax campaign (sometimes referred to as the FTT (financial transfer tax)) that started 8 years ago. Please go to their website and sign the petition.

All dancers are fighters, all fighters are dancers

Love, love this video. Sorry, I have not posted in the last months becasue life has been a battle ground of grief for the passing of a dear friend, health challenges, and trying to juggle the day-to-day work load.  But, I am dancing/fighting my way along and feeling stronger every day that the sun comes out!

Will be back more. Take care.

Current Podcast Favourites

This afternon I was enjoying some end of year podcast listening. It is strange how my playlist is constantly evolving.

The last time I wrote about podcast favourites was in 2013 (1,2). So much has happenend in the podcasting world since then! Surprisingly, the only two podcasts I still listen to are Writers and Company and On Being.

My podcast app has about 40-50 podcasts on it at any time. Though the podcasts on the list are always changing. I will give a new podcasts a few weeks or months and then if my heart does not go pitter patter when a new episode appears... I unsuscribe. 

There are some podcasts that my son recommended and their content adds regularly to our conversation over the last years. Most noticably:

Hello Internet (I've been a fan/Tim since the first episode)
Cortex
Adam Savage's: Still Untitled
The Nerdist

Then there are those podcasts that I share with my daughter. She is a loyal listener and always up for a debate or discussion on social issues:

Stuff Mom Never Told You
Still Processing
Represent
Code Switch

And others that I plain love:

Longform
Politically Re-Active
The Nod
The Daily
Pod Save America
Adventures in Finance

I have drastically reduced any time spent on social media sites since November 2016. I was so disgusted with the time I lost following the fiasco of the last US election that I deactivated, cancelled or put these sites on the back burner. This has opened up a lot of time to travel and listen to podcasts.

Hoping your year 2017 has been kind to you.

Gamechanger (update)

Two weeks ago, I wrote about the shock I felt after finding out how detrimental it is for our health to spend each day sitting for long periods of time.  So, I decided to become more conscientious about moving throughout the day.




This game changing strategy has proven very simple to carry through. For moving is fun! Often, I listen to podcasts. It is lovely to get through my weekly library of downloaded podcasts. It is a satisfying feeling to reduce their number and become smarter at the same time.

When I am not listening to podcasts, I listen to and sing along to the songs sung on Playing for Change channel. It nice to swing my hips. It adds pep to my steps.

Callisto

When my daughter was in university , she was a board member of the Ethics and Equality Committee for a few years. Since the university had over 70% foreign students from 110 different countries, the committee members handled cases of inter-racial conflicts, as well as sexual harassment or assault. Yet, these later cases were the most difficult to know how to manage. It seems that Callisto would be an ideal tool to help survivors and those working with them. 

In Jessica Ladd’s TED Talk, she explains how Callisto could help campuses and companies possibly prevent 59 percent of sexual assaults just by stopping repeat perpetrators earlier on. How empowering would that be for survivors to know their statements would be heard and acted upon?

Another fine moment

Amongst all of the bad news, there are fine moments when we, as a collective, make the right choice for the right reasons.



To all the 61.4% of you Aussies out there, thank you for your support in stepping up and voting and trying to eradicate civil unjustice in your country.

Women Warriors

Watching this (far too) short interview between two highly successful and powerful women warriors was a delight. It was interesting to know that Anna Wintour was a great friend of Katharine Graham and was mentored by her. Wouldn’t you have loved to have sat in on some of their conversations over the years?

It was also interesting to hear Meryl Streep mention researching Katharine Grahams’ relationship to her mother and posing the question about what our mothers do to us. It is a profound question that we should ask of our mothers and children alike. It is essential to look at how this relationship empowered or destroyed our ability to speak out and be heard.

Now more than ever, we need to speak the truth. One of the most discouraging things about reading the reports over the last weeks (years) that expose the prevalence of sexual abuse and harassment in the work place, is not that these men exist, but that they show no true contrition. How are we as individuals, let alone as a society, going to start an honest dialog about the hurts and indignities, the taking away of our humanity, as a result of predatory workplace behaviour if there is not contrition?

--> It is reassuring that Meryl Streep believes this moment in time is thrilling. That the exposure of these famous men’s behaviour will positively affect us all. That it will no longer be for people to conduct their lives as they have done so in the past. Let’s make sure this happens. Let’s speak up and make ourselves heard.

Gamechanger

Having thankfully hit the 60 mark in (relative) sound mind and good shape, I have been thinking the last weeks about what self-care program I should pursue for the next years. The video above was a wake up call. Being self-employed means that there are days that I am running around and standing up and moving a great speeds. But there are farfar more days that I literally sit at my computer at 7 am and work online until 6 or 7 in the evening.

That has changed completely/radically since I watched this video. Every 50 minutes I get up and walk around or climb stairs for 5-10 minutes. That is self-care for my bones, arteries, skin, and brain!

Immigrants get the job done (remix)

To all those getting their jobs done:
Whether that is putting food on the table,
Trying to find a roof to put over their heads,
Sending their children off to schools,
Learning a new language though
No one wishes to speak to them,
Navigating their way through
Hostile hateful public encounters,
Feeling despair and worry they will
Never be allowed a safe harbour
Nor will they every be able to
See their family and friends again,
Waking with the night terrors
of all they experienced along the way
to this new place they wish to call home.

Early morning loveliness

Oh, how lovely it is to travel on a train through the springtime countryside.

How to make the perfect cup of tea

One of the most delightful aspects of living in Germany is their cafés. Every city and town has numerous cafés to while away in. They all serve a wide selection of beverages, though admittedly, most fuss is made around coffee. Unfortunately, the majority of people working in cafés are not tea drinkers and therefore they often make a miserable cup of tea. I’ve lamented this fact over and over again. This is what prompted me to make these three videos.

I’ve tried to keep the tone light and not be too disparaging about the current state of affairs. I might add a video in the future about “what not to do” when making a cup of tea, so I can out my bitchier self. Things like: don’t put the lemon slice into the boiling water before the teabag, or if the tea cup is so small that the tea bag takes up half of the space – the tea is going to be bitter…. The possibilities are endless.

I’m going to work on the German version soon. So, if you have the time and see any mistakes or needed changes, please write a comment. Thank you for your help.

Hope you enjoy watching the videos. 

The right attitude: school is good

Years ago, I was working in a university research institute developing projects that focused on how media can be used constructively and creatively in schools. We did a few cross-cultural projects with schools in Germany, Kenya, and Canada. Since the projects were research projects, we gave out questionnaires to the participants and their teachers before and after each project.

The questions of the pre-trail survey established current practices of media use and what did they like or dislike about going to school. The questions of the post-trail were focus on the children’s experiences, team communication, and learning motivation during the duration of their project. Even though this sounds very academic, it was really interesting to read the stories of the participants through the numbers.

Most notably, was the difference in children’s attitudes towards going to school. As in the case with Jonathan in the video above, his attitude of “school is good” was prevalent in all the responses of the school children in Kimilili, Kenya and the inner-city school children in Toronto. Whereas, the children in Germany often saw having to go to school as a chore and not a privilege.

What a disservice parents and society are doing towards our children, if we cannot communicate how marvellous education is. We need to tell them how proud we are that they are working hard and are doing well. Not the marks on the report card, but the day-to-day effort they extend towards learning all that they can.  

Mulling over this very real inconvenient truth

It is amazing that Al Gore is still so fired up about the topic of climate change. You would think that a normal person’s passion would tire in the face of such ignorance, apathy, and indifference. He is still up on stage, as well as down on the ground, imploring his fellow countrymen to a call to action. (Because let's admit it... if the US doesn't get on board we are all **ck*d.)

Here we thought the Paris Agreement was a done deal… not any more. Wow, how difficult it must be for him to intellectually run on high-octane and sit patiently while others are reluctantly cranking up their cylinders on crude oil.

Just as an experiment, I decided to test my husband and my carbon footprint and see how we fair. Surprisingly, for someone living in a city in a 3-story home with multiple parties, committed recycler, not possessing a car, an avid walker or public transport user, vegetarian of local foods, etc… we didn’t do as well as I thought we would. 

It is rather a slap in the face to be told we are in the 67%, when I thought we would be much higher. The main culprits are the size of our apartment (now the kids have moved out) and we do not have access to a source of renewable energy for heating. Well, we are going to mull over this inconvenient truth for a bit and make some changes. That's for sure!

Rare diagram and witness marks (S-Town)

Just spent the last hours listening to S-Town from Serial and This American Life. Sketching/tracing the drawing above and meandering through this mastery of storytelling.

If you haven't listened to the series yet, please do. Then you should go over to one of my favourite podcasts, Longform. For this week's podcast is an interview with the host of the series, Brian Reed. 

For anyone stating that good stories can't find a place any more in media... this is your chance to be proven wrong.

International Women's Day

There was once, and occasionally is,

This being inside of me wanting

To burst out of my shell and become

Tarzan, or Peter Pan, or Batman.

To exit alongside my heroes

Running wild, doing brave deeds.

So far away from where I live,

So close to where my heart beats.

Never acknowledging the world

Will never tire trying to stop

Me from moving forward.

The force of its hate, dismissal,

And rejection, so prevailing;

Making it mightily difficult

To keep my young legs pumping

Along the path I travel.

Why can I not recognize

The difference between me

And my heroes? It is not

In scope or strength that our

Ways depart, but in that

One word, that I am, but

Don’t own. That word that

Seeks, but is rarely spoken.

Girl.  

Everyday questions (2)

Why do so many old people live alone?*

I asked this question to four different German friends. Here are their answers:

Friend 1

People want to live independently of others. They regard self-sufficiency as being highly desirable. They do not like to be dependent on the help of others.

Friend 2

Many married couples, especially elderly married couples live very isolated lives. Their children live elsewhere and they only see them a few times a year. They do not have many friends and, with age, they also die. So, when one of the couple dies, the widower or widow finds it very hard to find new friends or make social contact.

Friend 3

Many years ago, it was more popular for multi-generational families to live under one roof. This sort of family life was very strenuous and there was a lot of strife. Now people do not see this type of lifestyle as being in the bit least desirable.

Friend 4

Most children move out of their parent’s home in their late teens or early twenties. They often go and live in other parts of Germany or even other countries. The parents know there is little likelihood they will live in the same place again. So, the parents build a separate life from their children. When they become too old to take care of themselves, they know they will not go to live with their children, but go into a senior citizen home.

* My friends from Iran, Iraq and Afghanistan say in their culture, ideally, no elder person whould have to live alone.

Everyday questions (1)

A friend from Iran and I are starting up a new blog soon. We are going to answer everyday questions posed by new immigrants to Germany about what they see happening around them and can’t make sense of. Questions they do not understand because either the situation is different in the countries they come from, or they do not know any Germans to ask.

I thought I would post a few of the posts here, since they will be appearing in German in the other blog. 

Why don’t people talk to each other in doctor’s waiting rooms?

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. Fran Lebowitz

Time spent in a doctor’s waiting room is usually spent quietly.  When entering the waiting room, you are expected to greet everyone with a brief “Guten Tag” and then quickly find a seat and sit there silently until your name is called. It is time to wait: reading magazines, looking at something on your mobile phone, or just sitting still.

Generally, Germans do not like to show they are suffering from an illness or that they are in pain. So, maybe everyone is silent in the waiting room out of respect to let others suffer in silence.

Waiting... the art of preparation or anticipation

My whole life is waiting for the questions to which I have prepared answers.

Tom Stoppard

Life is so busy, isn’t it? We rush from one activity to another. When do we take a quiet breath? The whole idea of waiting, the art of preparation or anticipation, has disappeared from our lives. When and why did this happen?

Perfection