The first time we went into lockdown, I avoided any contact with people. Since we live in the city, that meant going grocery shopping at 7 am when the store opened. Going for walks at times or in weather where not many people were around. It wasn't really so difficult.
What happened after a few months, is that I started to get anxious whenever anyone was near me. Also, I started getting really upset to see people disregarding any or all the social distancing guidelines. Situations when someone would bump me aside so they could reach over my shoulder to get some spaghetti sauce from the shelf in front of me. Or, men not wearing their face mask properly, just resting it on their chins in case some store person came by. I could go on for a long time... what I am trying to say is that I became ultra-vigilant about social distancing practices.
It became such that I would save these stories of all the dissidents for my return home and then tell them to my husband at length. As you can imagine, this was not healthy.
Eventually, the numbers started to go down. So, I started going out on the streets when other people were there and "misbehaving". I felt that regular exposure would be a good form of desensitizing myself. The theory being it would be easier to learn to be less anxious when the numbers were down; when there really wasn't such a big risk.
Thank heavens I did this. The numbers are now unfortunately very high. The hospital IC units are full. The health care personnel tired. Still, I go outdoors every day and move to the side when I see someone not wearing a mask properly, or I am more likely to tell the person crowding me to please wait. I am once again someone who tries to be civil to strangers. I am endeavouring to take care of myself and my fellowman in small ways.
As my husband says, "This is a social experiment and not a race that any of us can win".
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