Comfort hesitates to settle in

Visiting friends after a long time away is a time of rediscovery. It is not only about figuring out what to talk about once we have travelled along the path from back then to now. There are also the small hiccups of when to go to bed and how to find a few moments of stillness early in the morning before the day begins.
 
There is this “please feel at home” sentiment that does not fit quite as easily as it once did. Perhaps when we were younger and weaving in and out of each other’s lives almost daily, we could take it for granted that we needed our own space. Now, there is almost a gentle formality to visiting a friend I have only texted or called in recent years. I am careful not to tread on the rhythms of their daily life. Maybe I am simply a little more thoughtful than I used to be. There is no longer the easy assumption that this is just one of many visits still to come.

I lost that sense of endless opportunities during the corona years. Being able to hop on a train or plane is now something I approach with more consideration. I book flex price because I am not always sure that I or the universe will be ready to travel when the date arrives. Perhaps it is this uncertainty that has worn thin the old habit of dropping in on family and friends without much thought. I still love the idea of seeing them, yet I no longer have quite the same knack for instantly feeling at home.