Misconception #2: Learning German Is Easy

Admittedly, I had the intention of learning to speak German all along. It was just that I hoped to have a soft landing with my English-speaking colleagues helping me on my way to acquiring their language. Also, I had an ace card in my back pocket: I already spoke French.

How difficult could it be to learn German after having learnt French? Especially when it comes to the technical language. For example, voltage in English, voltage in French (different accent), resistor in English, résisteur in French, current, courant… you get the idea.

So, you can imagine my surprise on the first day at work when I smugly asked my colleague, “What is the word for “voltage” in German?”... Spannung… resistor?… Wiederstand.  You have got to be kidding! I thought I was living a Steve Martin joke in real life.

What didn’t work

I trotted off to the local community college (Volkshochschule) and registered in an evening German course.

This turned out to be a disaster. It was a lonely-hearts club and not a language course. We were a mixed pickle group of foreigners from all sorts of different countries. We were not lonely for love, but for our homes.

We were also a group of very lazy students, not willing to do any homework or participate actively towards increasing our vocabulary or acquiring any grammar. The poor trainer was stuck on the first lesson of the book for the six months I attended course. Any question she asked such as, “Describe your morning routine?” quickly evolved into a game of Charades, with one person pantomiming putting on his clothes and the rest of us heroically shouting out “die Hose”, “das Hemd”, “der Pulli”. 

What worked 

It took a while, but eventually, in a helter-skelter manner I found my way into the German language. The three most important developments that contributed positively to this achievement were the following:

 

1) I embraced the café culture of this country. The city where I lived was populated with fantastic cafés. They had super coffee and cakes, but also they had racks on the walls filled with daily newspapers and weekly magazines for their customers’ consumptions.

I credit the photo captions of the weekly sleazy gossip magazines for teaching me basic German grammar, “who is doing what with whom”. I became very familiar with the going-ons of the European high society and the Hollywood stars. I spent endless hours sipping on my tea and contemplating the fashions of that season’s Ascot hat wear.

2) This may sound like a funny thing to do, but in order to improve my German I started asking people on the streets (salespersons, bus drivers, train porters) questions that I knew the answers to. “Does this bus stop at the central station?”, “Do you have this shoe in size 36?” It was taking the language exercises out of the school books and into the real world.

This gave me the opportunity to choreograph a series of mini dialogs to repeat throughout my days. With time, the mini dialogs often developed into small talk and occasionally these encounters led to budding friendships.

3) I found the absolutely best way to learn German purely by chance. This happened when I met my Brazilian friend, Ceneria. She spoke no French or English (my languages) and I spoke no Portuguese. We were both terribly lonely. Both missed our family and friends back home. Both had NO social life. So we decided to get together and go jogging a few nights a week after work. Even though neither of us had jogged before.

We barely managed to run 15 minutes the first evening. And, our conversation… also a disaster… “You” (she points at me), “Sisters?” (shrugs her shoulders), “Yes” (showing two fingers), “Two”… Painful in every way. But, two years later we ran a half-marathon together. We laughed and conversed the whole way through. It was our farewell present to each other before Ceneria returned to Brazil.

So, lesson learnt… if you want to learn a language, you do not need to speak with a native speaker, but become friends with someone who doesn’t speak any of the languages you do.

Misconception #1: All Germans Speak English

I wrongly assumed that if I was going to be working for an international company, even an international German company like Siemens, that everyone would speak English. What I discovered on my first day was not only they couldn’t speak English, they didn’t speak German. Instead, they spoke Bavarian. A colourful dialect, which is completely different to the language spoken slowly, clearly and succinctly on my Learning Basic German CDs.

Over time, I learnt that most Germans on a one-to-one basis DO speak English. They just do not feel confident to speak it in public or on the job. They worry about what people will think about any mistake they might make.

The problem is not a lack of language proficiency, but a crippling (my point of view) cultural norm, dissuading anyone from admitting they can do anything, like speaking English, unless they can do it perfectly. The most common adjectives used in reference to how someone speaks a foreign language is “fluently and accent-free”. Example, “My son-in-law lived in Sweden for six months and he can speak Swedish fluently and without any German accent.”

The German school system is very good for teaching students English vocabulary and grammar. They are not good at positive reinforcement and instilling a natural love of the spoken language. No, it is all about vocabulary and grammar, which everyone forgets after a period of time. And this makes most Germans feel uncomfortable about speaking English once they have completed their secondary school education. They are embarrassed about the fact they forgot the words they knew way back when!

It also means if you ask a German to speak in English, they sometimes see it as a test or exam situation and not a chance to have a nice little chat.

But, I didn’t know all this way back when. All I knew is that no one appeared to speak English and so I decided to learn German. Leading me to Misconception #2: Learning German Is Easy.

Top 5 Misconceptions about Life in Germany

Recently a dear friend asked me to list some of the false assumptions I had when I first arrived in Germany from Canada over 30 years ago. To set the scene... I was in my mid-twenties carrying a recently acquired electrical engineering degree under my arm. I had visited friends in Germany numerous times during my studies. They worked in German theatres (story for another time) as dancers, actors and musicians, and all those wonderful visits convinced me that Germany was the place I wanted to be.

There were also numerous international medical equipment companies, the field of my choice, located here. So after graduation, I packed my two bags and flew over one fine October day in 1982 to build a new life in Europe. The fact that I didn’t speak any German did not deter me.

Which brings me to Misconception #1.

Non-political vegetarian

I enjoyed listening to Mona Chalabi’s rant. Her thoughts are very well stated and it gives me a tweak of joy hearing her step up on the podium.

 

I have been a vegetarian for the last 45 years. I became a vegetarian when I was 13 years old. Not out of zealousness, but because I was a ballet dancer and avoided anything with a high calorie count. Once I stopped dancing, I continued being a vegetarian because the food tasted good.

 

 

It has been interesting to see how vegetarianism has acquired a political power over the last two decades. Some of the focus is legitimate, but some of it is sensational and opportunistic. I feel that I am the Switzerland of this political movement. Even though I have been a vegetarian nearly my whole life, but it is not some political movement I wish to join. 

How it feels

Cold rainy summer day

Candle lit and cushion ready

Tea time. Taking a break

Then Simone in her Radiance

Burst my heart and lays it

Bare with the scalpel

Precision of those words

In her voice/body/soul.

“I wish I could shed all the love that’s in my heart. I wish I could break all the things that bind us apart.”

Do listen. It is one way to start the day.

Dog parking post

Do you remember the posts in western films for cowboys to park their horses?

Voila... A modern version...

On the road again

Summer over took the last weeks of fall weather today. I spent some lovely stolen time on the beach last week wrapped up in wooly coat and thick blanket breathing the cold sea air and recovering from pneumonia.

Now I am off on the road again. Riding on my favourite Deutsche Bahn; whose popularity has suffered greatly because of numerous strikes the last months. The person making announcements over the speakers is noticeably cheery.

The greens of the landscape is bright and lively. They have yet to change to deeper summer tones. I am first off to a meditation retreat in a monastery surrounded by woods. So much looking forward to the stillness.

May you all send shine this way and I will send kind thoughts to you.