I think what is so frightening is the prevalence of pain. Sure, there are moments when it intensifies, almost taking over my body and brain, but this is not what I fear the most. It's the pain that is always there behind every movement, the stab that comes when I change my sitting position, the one that thumps down my nerve endings when all is silent and I am trying my best to stay still. It's the threat of bursting pain if I do something unexpected like sneeze or laugh, or consider rushing to the toilet, which is not even a movement but an anticipation of movement.
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